Thanks for that, Rob. I've said that the male form of toxicity is superiority but the female form is specialness. It's the theme of every romance novel--somehow Bella's the only girl the vampire and werewolf both want. A Course in Miracles talks about the unholy alliance where you bind the other to you by sacrificing yourself. I think that's definitely a woman thing.
That is a nice little synchronicity with Jasun Horsley's latest book 'Big Mother' within which he argues, persuasively imo, that we have very quietly slid into a form of gynocracy; more specifically, a feminine manifestation of tyranny. The masculine version is a boot to the head as described by Orwell's 'Big Brother.' We are suffocating under a tyranny of being good for us, a soft form of imprisonment and death. The devouring mother archetype made societally manifest. Interesting stuff.
Trouble is, the the "gynocracy" is totally fake, a pretense and a pretext for enslaving us and the majority falls for it repeatedly and invariably it seems.
Now, I gotta get my tuschie in gear, cuz momma ain't about to roof the garage! : )
Nov 22, 2023·edited Nov 22, 2023Liked by Tereza Coraggio
LoL! Of course it's 'fake.' In the same way that the plandemic and allopathic medicine is. And it will still kill us, killing us softly with their words (and products), killing us softly.
And with that, let's sing a song! Sigh! Such a beautiful mantra to weakness and co-dependency! [Headshake]. Ah well.
Loved, loved loved this 'essay', Tereza. Love letter? Great share and sharp points. Especially liked your observation that 'to love you is to know you.'
And wonderful that you are one of *those* big bad conspiracy theorists that is willing and strong enough to change your mind as new information comes in. Hmmmm. RotFL! Now, *that* might become a great pick-up line. Much more engaging than space alien insurance, surely. LOL!
(And I think my writing is getting denser. Hmmmm. And I had no idea that that was what the koan inspiration was going to lead me into! Your part in it was very significant! And I really do love our long and multi-faceted, poly-directional conversation! You challenge, poke, inspire and guide in so many ways. Muchas gracias.)
Nov 22, 2023·edited Nov 22, 2023Liked by Tereza Coraggio
Thanks for this post -- it hits hard with the truth, especially this bit: "What’s the similarity between romantic love and religious worship? They’re both ways of projecting the ego onto a person or deity and making them a reflection of the self." That is something I've taken way too long to understand, but I'm finally getting there. Recent experiences have taught me to distrust "romantic" feelings, and I wish I'd had this distrust when I was young and foolish.
Well, don't throw out love with the romantic projection bathwater. If you find yourself being disappointed that someone isn't who you thought she was, that's a good indicator that your feelings are more projection than attention. But if you find no one worth giving your attention unless you're getting something back, then you're merely 'paying' attention as a transaction. That's certainly not my impression of you, but just to say love is much bigger and more inclusive than romance.
When I was young, I wrote a poem comparing men to visiting foreign countries, where you learn a language not useful anywhere else, try new cuisines, experience new terrains. But when it's over, you come back with a knick-knack when what you really wanted was a canyon. Seeing the other as truly 'other' can make it an adventure but, like any travel, there's a lot more hassle than you think, and my tolerance for hassle is mighty low these days ;-)
How does your moniker change everytime I respond? I wanted to tell you that infanttyron fulfilled the lapse of the word quantum in his first link below.
And when I didn't respond to the guy's 'mutual encouragement,' he sent a text saying "this thought of spiritual capital, Doesn't materialism matter here? In this case 'spiritual materialism' I think it causes wars Yes? It actually in truth led to my divorce."
Does any of that gobbledygook mean anything to you? I know he didn't pull those phrases from my work because I make it a practice to speak as clearly and jargon-free as possible, wanting mainly to be understood. I suspect his divorce had more to do with him traveling all the time and going to after-parties while his wife was home with the five kids.
I change my nick on a whim, usually depending on my mood, but not only that..
Sometimes it takes months to be changed, sometimes it only takes days.
In contemporary academic philosophy, it is more or less conventional the opinion that the brain matter creates the "soul." Because philosophers loathe words like soul, spirit, or anima, sometimes they use the more Aristotelian-sounding "nous" or even "psyche," but always in relation to behavior, and always as an emergent property of the system we call body, or corpse. So, there you have it, a spiritual materialism, is simply a more snobby way to speak about the "material spirit," or a soul created from matter.
The right thing to do is to speak and write clearly, and from the heart. Many people prefer obscurity, or maybe they cannot talk without it because they are living in darkness. Poor lost souls!
Even before he sent an email to you to say he didn't want a relationship with you, I thought, this guy seems kind of full of himself.
Is it true that mostly a woman wants to laugh, and feel safe? I don't know if I used to put the women I have loved on a pedestal, as much as I idealized them and then held on too long to that ideal. At 50 I feel a bit like I am becoming agnostic, to extend the religious suggestion, at the same time I am wondering if I should be more ecstatic.
Oh, your last line is such a great way to put that! Yes, I had written most of this before I read his email, based on him not letting me get a word in edgewise while professing to love my mind. It was a kinder, gentler version. When I read the condescending email, it became no-holds-barred. You really shouldn't expect to insult a woman in private who has an audience.
You're doing more work in trying to figure this out than just about anyone, William. Your series on men coming together and asking what it means to be a man is so well done. There's no question in my mind that something has gone terribly wrong with the relationships between men and women, and it's the fault of neither. I don't know what it is but I keep circling around economics and religion. And I think that in all three, you're right, it's not that we're asking too much of them, it's that we're asking far, far too little.
I have been reflecting of late, how much Covid Policy seemed to harm what was left of romance. That and feminism/postmodernism as it has evolved in corporate/technocratic culture. That and macho culture turned into emasculated drug/alcohol/porn culture. That and "toxic masculinity" messaging. Modernism and high civilization is also an issue. There is absolutely too a globalist movement to convince white people not to breed. Geez - now that I write it out it is a wonder anyone is having babies.
The liberal women I have loved demanded I emasculate. The more conservative women I have been looking to lately, at least locally, many make little attempt to be attractive.
Me? Well, I'm learning to play guitar and sing, is about all I'm going to say about that, at the moment.
Yeah, I think that was part of the lockdown agenda--make people afraid to be around real people. I wonder sometimes if simpler words apply like shy, awkward, scared, insecure, trying too hard. There aren't too many ways that men and women spend time together anymore once you're out of school. And school is the opposite problem of being a fishbowl with 100 people your exact same age. Yuck.
Even jobs now are often all online. I've joked about starting a male escort service--non-sexual--with the guys in our dance group. The best part would be the training sessions. There's one who could teach living room dancing, another for great foot massages, one who's a great cook and one for mixing fancy cocktails. The art of listening, as my coffee date illustrated, is definitely one to learn. Oh and one guy is great at the compliments that make women from 5 to 95 feel good about themselves. Flirting is a lost art.
Of course, none of us fellow dancers would be clients because they're like brothers to us. And there's one of them to ten of us. It's too much to risk.
So we'd have to trade off with some other group of mostly men. As much as things have fallen off with Jay Rollins, this seems up his alley. I feel like there needs to be something to break the ice, get men and women touching again, in casual ways, not hookups. The more isolated we get, the harder it is.
I think much of the problem is too - the spaces for women to be women among women, and spaces for men to be men among men are degraded. Young people are also not encouraged to mature in a healthy way by healthy adults, as in the old ways of initiation. People who don't mature are likely to be awkward about the things that matter.
I wonder about your non-sexual escort service. It might somewhat inevitably turn into a sexual thing, what with all that cooking/dancing/cocktails/massages and listening. Which seems to me that could be fine for all involved, except for the law and the exchange of money thing.
I'm not sure what happened with Jay, I think he just went back to only being Alex.
Sorry to hear too about the fallout with the tonic crew. I am not familiar. Relations on substack are curious. Some of the writers who didn't like me are warming, while some who did like have ghosted or cancelled me.
Since my social circles are daughters and dancers, I spend a lot of time in women spaces. It's certainly a beautiful and supportive community, as I hear you also describe your men's spaces. But I'm not sure it's healing the rift that I perceive between men and women, especially in this time of imposed isolation, or its residual effects.
Yes, Daniel--the Columbian dancer with whom I was developing this 'business plan'--disagreed with me on this. He thought that if it turned into sex, that should be okay. My thought, aside from the legal aspect, was that would make judgment inevitable. The women would be paying for sex, which feels demeaning, and the men would be compelled to have sex with whoever was willing to pay, or reject them. That's the opposite of what I wanted to create.
What I wanted was a low-cost, low-commitment space with firm boundaries where attention could be given lavishly without worrying about 'leading a woman on.' And again, the group training for men to learn to be 'escorts' was my favorite part. Whether it's the vaccines causing autism or ADHD, men who can have a real conversation are increasingly rare. And I just think a weeks-long course involving women as practice 'clients' and men willing to learn--including cooking and cocktails--could be so much fun. It's a permission to take initiative without rejection.
My name for this imaginary escort service was Real Sweethearts ;-)
#1 Regarding your video on the Isha, the Gita, and the Course:
Forgiveness of others is the only way to travel.
I am not interested in the thoughts of the ego. I do not gain from the loss of others. I celebrate other people's success. The more they succeed the happier the human race is as a collective. It's such a relief to me to think of everything as one thing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I used to suffer from jealousy on some levels. I don't anymore. I might see someone's house in perfect shape and suddenly want to go home and clean and pressure wash mine, but that's not jealousy. That's inspiration, that's motivation, that's celebration.
#2 You said, "there IS always a why to what someone does". I have learned to love people where they are right now. Their reasons might not make any sense to me at all, but to them it does. It's that simple. Who knows why they think the way that they do and it's not even for me to understand.
As for "To know me is to love me", I think you are beautiful :)
Why DO they say "paying attention?" That's a messed-up phrase. I agree. I am going to try to remember this, "giving attention" idea.
#3 That Awakened Video with JP IS THE FUNNIEST ONE I HAVE SEEN SO FAR! HAHAHAHA> HIS OPENINING IS ENOUGH. Just the hi....HAHaha.
#3 The Utopian Imagination: Finding people who are engaging with the world we want to create. "Activist Anonymous", nice idea; we ARE here for a reason.
I love that you are a stone that drops your consciousness in from time to time and then you witness the ripples.
We can use their tools AND our tools. Being like the stone is a tool that we have with or without their tools.
#1A Such a profound and witty way to put it, "Forgiveness of others is the only way to travel." I don't know if you caught Kathleen's comment that her mom always said, "To understand all is to forgive all." And she would add, "because we can't understand it all, may as well skip to forgiveness." Isn't that great?
It was triggered a moment ago when I noticed the guy with the other Third Paradigm YT (and perhaps the prior claim, so I'm not challenging it) has 49K subs to my 1K. I think he started his a month earlier. But that's inspiration, right? What's really funny is that my dance teacher had told me I should title a YT 'How to get a Big Butt' and then do my usual content. His big breakthrough was on the attraction of Big Butts in archeology ;-) I watched as it went viral.
#2 That's a great way to put it. And thank you!
#3 Yes! I had to watch it again before responding. I love the way that the SPUA weaves his head back and forth like a viper hypnotizing his prey. The Goddess, the Holding Space, the Uncomfortably Long Eye-Contact, HILARIOUS!
Oooh I don't remember the stone analogy but I like it! Thanks for talking back to me ;-)
You said something about dropping your consciousness in like a stone, that your work ( with regard to your reading, writing and sharing) is contributing to the whole. You were talking about watching the ripple effect of that work like a stone in a body of water and you were discussing how a lot of people shrink away from doing the work that needs to be done, so they just throw up their hands and say "it will never be like that so why should I even try?". I think of my actions as a ripple a lot and I love stones and rocks in general. So, I agree with you and I enjoyed that example. You are creating ripples here, just with me alone. You have discussed many things that I have never heard of or delved into. You have planted a few seeds and I will will cultivate them! I like the skipping to forgiveness part as well. I do that now because I can and it makes for so much ease in difficult situations. When it's uncomfortable I fall on what I think of as "professional loving-kindness" as a default. Sometimes people are just baffled at how unmoved you are. You are just giving them their space to be a failing human. SOMETIMES when you give it to them, they actually do something positive with that. You might not see it right away, but I FEEL the change in the air. I mean, we do have the power to forgive people. Some people do not have that power. I would much rather decide what I want my relationships to look like rather than let people "push my buttons". I control my buttons from the inside now. They can't even find them to push them anymore.
Ah, but it IS a woman thing! Most straight men would lose their shit (so to speak) if a woman ventured backside. Women are in a very powerful position here: to create so much trust in men that he becomes willing to confront his GAY TERROR. If women deeply get how wounded we collectively are, they just may choose to show resplendent mercy on us. Through deep vulnerability we may experience profound intimacy, which becomes available following an extended encounter with cosmic orgasms. Everyone wins. It just takes a lot of love and courage.
If there was anything that could make men embrace their divine feminine side, it has to be cosmic orgasms. And 'resplendent mercy' is a great phrase. You're really a good writer.
Okay, I'm gonna binge watch Sex Ed and see if I can embrace my inner sex therapist like the character my daughter mentioned, although Dana Gillespie will always be Agent Sculley to me. And we'll see if I can talk about the metaphysical or the physical without being too abstract.
I love going from metaphysical-allegorical into Instructions Manual. Grounds the airy abstractions. I’m also into clear and practical. I could go on and on about how to experience these orgasms. But I’m tellin ya: once women get on board with this and the qualities of intimacy and transparency skyrocket in their relationships, we might just have a Movement on our hands!
I like your enthusiasm but I will leave the clear and practical to you, providing a link and a GAY TERROR trigger warning ;-) And I was mistaken, it's Gillian Anderson in Sex Ed. I'm giving it one more episode to see if it grows on me.
This essay explores the male capacity for ecstasy and inner --> outer communion. Women may choose to play a pivotal role in men’s awakening by initiating a type of bliss many (if not most) men have never experienced.
BTW this guy did mention chakras in the group convo after the aerial performance. I remember cringing a little and ignoring it. In retrospect, that was probably a sign.
Woah, THIS is your first post, Richard? Quite the sexual incendiary device. It certainly flips the paradigm of women embodying both the Divine Feminine and Masculine. Very well written and powerful.
It's making me wonder if I could possibly combine the Buckminster Fuller piece on Love as Metaphysical Gravity with yours. From Quantum Sex to Dragon Chakras. I'm not entirely sure where to go with it since it's not a woman thing, but maybe that's better. My daughter keeps trying to get me to watch the Netflix show Sex Ed because the mother reminds her of me. I may have to brush up on it to get the courage ;-)
This looks great, Cormorant, I'll read it after my dance class. Unless you want me to pose a question that you'll answer with every word bringing tender compassionate mercies to the world ;-)
Mind blown on your first link! Bucky Fuller on love as metaphysical gravity. I understood about 1/10th and that was enough to let me know he's onto something. It's not just an impressive-sounding abstraction. I need to watch it again ... and again. Had my coffee date brought this up, I would have been smitten myself, and he would have fulfilled Agent Roger's noted lapse that he didn't use the word 'quantum' ;-)
Hope you find time to check the music clips, at least the Saxe-Gotha variation. Lots of appearances of 'quantum' in the Metaphysical Gravity clip, but mostly in photos of text. Here's a short clip with just Bucky speaking on the topic w/o saying the "Q word". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM8oynQQSgA
The spiritual materialism coffee date guy's lingo sounds like he might have taken a few extra trips through the salad bar at the Logos Bar & Grill, one of those places where the veggies are an afterthought and the kitchen staff isn't diligent about rinsing glyphosate off of the once-rooted offerings...not Charlie Manson level word salad, but gettin' there.
Quantum Sex and Dragon Chakras? As long as the exposition wasn't overly abstruse, I'd probably read, watch or listen, but hopefully it would be structured to involve at least a humorous episode or two...e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT3QYb7AN6k :-)
Yes, I did just check them out. The jitterbug geometry is fascinating. Love the Saxe-Gotha and it was interesting that the Elvis Costello was at Hardly Strictly. It's one of my daughter and her husband's favorite festivals so I've heard the name many times but never got that it was Hardly Strictly Bluegrass.
Haven't heard John Mellencamp in ages! Great kitchen dancing music. And the jukebox skit was great. Thanks for sending!
My primary weapon seems to be using someone's own words to show who they are. It was my technique with Malone and others. In this case, I've done little or no editorializing on this guy. Didn't have to. Just quote him.
However I've never known a woman swayed by lip gloss and cheap champagne. I'd also say that Jackson was an extremely hardworking dancer and perfectionist. I don't have idols but he inspired other male dancers I admire on the Kpop side (where my daughter's done a lot of research). And we have choreography to a couple of his songs, which are fun.
I'm not critical of anything about people other than two things--superiority and duplicity. If someone doesn't think they're better than other people, and isn't trying to deceive, I try to be as kind as possible even if he's not right for me. But once someone's condescending, the gloves are off.
Only had time to briefly scan the first part, and again, I call it brilliant. I have a very competent and attractive (in many ways) sister who goes through the same foolishness repeatedly and I am forever grateful that she has a head on her shoulders and quickly steps away from the sappiness and corniness she encounters.
I have long said that I'm glad I was born a man because "there ain't nothin out there" and am appalled at what's what's available and what passes for men.
I love sappiness and corniness, Geoff. I don't think we have nearly enough of those in the world. You and I got very lucky, getting to raise families and take on 'traditional' roles. I don't know if that's even possible in this next generation. I want to write another article looking at this from the man's pov. If 'what passes for men' is appalling as the rule and not the exception, something's gone wrong that's beyond individual choice.
When my single daughter has online dates, guys say, "I'm not going to tell you you're beautiful because I know you hear that all the time." And she thinks, 'you know, you could. It would be okay.' It's not the flirting that's wrong. We need more of that, without expectation. Indiscriminate, equal opportunity flirts.
Sappiness and corniess are for fun and not to be taken seriously. My wife and I are always laughing together and having a ball; most of it is pretty sappy and also corny. I'm talking about the guys who think they're being profoundly romantic or something. Stuff like your daughter seems to have been describing and the goofy baloney that comes out of Hollywood.
FYI, I have a view from the inside and I know how guys think. It's both sapppy and corny (at a minimum) in the not good sense. If I were a woman, I'd be sufferng from a permanent ogulogyric crisis.
Oculogyric crisis, hysterical! I had to look it up. I've been saying, "My eyes are pre-rolled," but this is much better if I can just figure out how to pronounce it ;-)
Ha ha...Yer eyes are pre-rolled, eh? Now that's funny!
I must repeat myself regarding your book. When it comes to economics, my eyes are pre-sleepy except when I read your work. Both the depth and the breadth of your understanding of how the (totally corrupt) system works is beyond my ability to adequately describe. And I'm not being corny! Your treatment of Detroit and the screwings the people get are beyond my imagination.
Anyway have you seen this site? I visit from time to time and its a continuous litany of outrage at the criminals with bucks.
Hi, Kate. I'm sorry for your experience, which does seem so shockingly common. But not always as men over women, as some men here and in my own circles can attest.
Corinthians was just reiterating the second story of the Bible in which God curses women with "Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” I talk about it in this episode, which I think you might like for more on this topic: https://thirdparadigm.substack.com/p/in-the-blood-of-eden.
And in patriarchy, it's not the 'patri' that's the problem but the 'archy'. It doesn't matter who rules over who, once the right to rule has been established. Men have needed subservient wives so they could spend their time serving the 'market' aka oligarchs of profit. Now women serve the oligarchs and seem to be better at it, maybe because we've had more practice. So men are emasculated in terms of their power position but left with the expectation of being the provider. AND they have to be sensitive, use gender-inclusive language, bow and scrape.
This is resulting in anger against women but it's the oligarchs playing their fucking game with our heads. Divide and conquer. Meanwhile we have global slaves who are sustaining our lives with the food and products we need while we pay someone to raise our kids--because surely a competent person shouldn't be wasting her time on that when she has exploitable skills.
Your grandmother was a wise woman. Yes, it's simple logic. We bid against each other on mortgages so for one generation, women won the right to work. When houses rose to two incomes, they lost the choice to not work.
There's a book called Unholy Hungers, about the vampire archetypes.
Masculine is charm and power. Feminine is by feigned weakness.
Men and women can be either. Sadly, both of these are where many people "fall in love" with
At the end of the book, some hope emerges.
https://storiestogrowby.org/story/sir-gawain-the-lady-ragnell/
Thanks for that, Rob. I've said that the male form of toxicity is superiority but the female form is specialness. It's the theme of every romance novel--somehow Bella's the only girl the vampire and werewolf both want. A Course in Miracles talks about the unholy alliance where you bind the other to you by sacrificing yourself. I think that's definitely a woman thing.
Hello, Rob.
That is a nice little synchronicity with Jasun Horsley's latest book 'Big Mother' within which he argues, persuasively imo, that we have very quietly slid into a form of gynocracy; more specifically, a feminine manifestation of tyranny. The masculine version is a boot to the head as described by Orwell's 'Big Brother.' We are suffocating under a tyranny of being good for us, a soft form of imprisonment and death. The devouring mother archetype made societally manifest. Interesting stuff.
Trouble is, the the "gynocracy" is totally fake, a pretense and a pretext for enslaving us and the majority falls for it repeatedly and invariably it seems.
Now, I gotta get my tuschie in gear, cuz momma ain't about to roof the garage! : )
LoL! Of course it's 'fake.' In the same way that the plandemic and allopathic medicine is. And it will still kill us, killing us softly with their words (and products), killing us softly.
And with that, let's sing a song! Sigh! Such a beautiful mantra to weakness and co-dependency! [Headshake]. Ah well.
Killing me Softly Sinatra
https://youtu.be/8tbP3f3i03E
Original - Lori Lieberman
https://youtu.be/ua4n_sTa9f4
Loved, loved loved this 'essay', Tereza. Love letter? Great share and sharp points. Especially liked your observation that 'to love you is to know you.'
And wonderful that you are one of *those* big bad conspiracy theorists that is willing and strong enough to change your mind as new information comes in. Hmmmm. RotFL! Now, *that* might become a great pick-up line. Much more engaging than space alien insurance, surely. LOL!
Good night.
Thank you Guy and I enjoyed your last post, which I read carefully. I wanted to finish this before I responded but it's on my mind.
Da nada!
(And I think my writing is getting denser. Hmmmm. And I had no idea that that was what the koan inspiration was going to lead me into! Your part in it was very significant! And I really do love our long and multi-faceted, poly-directional conversation! You challenge, poke, inspire and guide in so many ways. Muchas gracias.)
Thanks for this post -- it hits hard with the truth, especially this bit: "What’s the similarity between romantic love and religious worship? They’re both ways of projecting the ego onto a person or deity and making them a reflection of the self." That is something I've taken way too long to understand, but I'm finally getting there. Recent experiences have taught me to distrust "romantic" feelings, and I wish I'd had this distrust when I was young and foolish.
As They Might Be Giants say, "I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8au4eCVPis
Haha, what a great line from TMBG!
Well, don't throw out love with the romantic projection bathwater. If you find yourself being disappointed that someone isn't who you thought she was, that's a good indicator that your feelings are more projection than attention. But if you find no one worth giving your attention unless you're getting something back, then you're merely 'paying' attention as a transaction. That's certainly not my impression of you, but just to say love is much bigger and more inclusive than romance.
When I was young, I wrote a poem comparing men to visiting foreign countries, where you learn a language not useful anywhere else, try new cuisines, experience new terrains. But when it's over, you come back with a knick-knack when what you really wanted was a canyon. Seeing the other as truly 'other' can make it an adventure but, like any travel, there's a lot more hassle than you think, and my tolerance for hassle is mighty low these days ;-)
Yeah, I'm trying to think of love as more of a conscious choice, rather than something I "fall" into helplessly and insanely.
Yup.
It's surprising the guy from your anecdote did not mention the word quantum.
How does your moniker change everytime I respond? I wanted to tell you that infanttyron fulfilled the lapse of the word quantum in his first link below.
And when I didn't respond to the guy's 'mutual encouragement,' he sent a text saying "this thought of spiritual capital, Doesn't materialism matter here? In this case 'spiritual materialism' I think it causes wars Yes? It actually in truth led to my divorce."
Does any of that gobbledygook mean anything to you? I know he didn't pull those phrases from my work because I make it a practice to speak as clearly and jargon-free as possible, wanting mainly to be understood. I suspect his divorce had more to do with him traveling all the time and going to after-parties while his wife was home with the five kids.
I change my nick on a whim, usually depending on my mood, but not only that..
Sometimes it takes months to be changed, sometimes it only takes days.
In contemporary academic philosophy, it is more or less conventional the opinion that the brain matter creates the "soul." Because philosophers loathe words like soul, spirit, or anima, sometimes they use the more Aristotelian-sounding "nous" or even "psyche," but always in relation to behavior, and always as an emergent property of the system we call body, or corpse. So, there you have it, a spiritual materialism, is simply a more snobby way to speak about the "material spirit," or a soul created from matter.
The right thing to do is to speak and write clearly, and from the heart. Many people prefer obscurity, or maybe they cannot talk without it because they are living in darkness. Poor lost souls!
Thanks for deciphering that for me, Roger.
Hilarious, Roger.
Even before he sent an email to you to say he didn't want a relationship with you, I thought, this guy seems kind of full of himself.
Is it true that mostly a woman wants to laugh, and feel safe? I don't know if I used to put the women I have loved on a pedestal, as much as I idealized them and then held on too long to that ideal. At 50 I feel a bit like I am becoming agnostic, to extend the religious suggestion, at the same time I am wondering if I should be more ecstatic.
Oh, your last line is such a great way to put that! Yes, I had written most of this before I read his email, based on him not letting me get a word in edgewise while professing to love my mind. It was a kinder, gentler version. When I read the condescending email, it became no-holds-barred. You really shouldn't expect to insult a woman in private who has an audience.
You're doing more work in trying to figure this out than just about anyone, William. Your series on men coming together and asking what it means to be a man is so well done. There's no question in my mind that something has gone terribly wrong with the relationships between men and women, and it's the fault of neither. I don't know what it is but I keep circling around economics and religion. And I think that in all three, you're right, it's not that we're asking too much of them, it's that we're asking far, far too little.
I have been reflecting of late, how much Covid Policy seemed to harm what was left of romance. That and feminism/postmodernism as it has evolved in corporate/technocratic culture. That and macho culture turned into emasculated drug/alcohol/porn culture. That and "toxic masculinity" messaging. Modernism and high civilization is also an issue. There is absolutely too a globalist movement to convince white people not to breed. Geez - now that I write it out it is a wonder anyone is having babies.
The liberal women I have loved demanded I emasculate. The more conservative women I have been looking to lately, at least locally, many make little attempt to be attractive.
Me? Well, I'm learning to play guitar and sing, is about all I'm going to say about that, at the moment.
Yeah, I think that was part of the lockdown agenda--make people afraid to be around real people. I wonder sometimes if simpler words apply like shy, awkward, scared, insecure, trying too hard. There aren't too many ways that men and women spend time together anymore once you're out of school. And school is the opposite problem of being a fishbowl with 100 people your exact same age. Yuck.
Even jobs now are often all online. I've joked about starting a male escort service--non-sexual--with the guys in our dance group. The best part would be the training sessions. There's one who could teach living room dancing, another for great foot massages, one who's a great cook and one for mixing fancy cocktails. The art of listening, as my coffee date illustrated, is definitely one to learn. Oh and one guy is great at the compliments that make women from 5 to 95 feel good about themselves. Flirting is a lost art.
Of course, none of us fellow dancers would be clients because they're like brothers to us. And there's one of them to ten of us. It's too much to risk.
So we'd have to trade off with some other group of mostly men. As much as things have fallen off with Jay Rollins, this seems up his alley. I feel like there needs to be something to break the ice, get men and women touching again, in casual ways, not hookups. The more isolated we get, the harder it is.
I think much of the problem is too - the spaces for women to be women among women, and spaces for men to be men among men are degraded. Young people are also not encouraged to mature in a healthy way by healthy adults, as in the old ways of initiation. People who don't mature are likely to be awkward about the things that matter.
I wonder about your non-sexual escort service. It might somewhat inevitably turn into a sexual thing, what with all that cooking/dancing/cocktails/massages and listening. Which seems to me that could be fine for all involved, except for the law and the exchange of money thing.
I'm not sure what happened with Jay, I think he just went back to only being Alex.
Sorry to hear too about the fallout with the tonic crew. I am not familiar. Relations on substack are curious. Some of the writers who didn't like me are warming, while some who did like have ghosted or cancelled me.
Since my social circles are daughters and dancers, I spend a lot of time in women spaces. It's certainly a beautiful and supportive community, as I hear you also describe your men's spaces. But I'm not sure it's healing the rift that I perceive between men and women, especially in this time of imposed isolation, or its residual effects.
Yes, Daniel--the Columbian dancer with whom I was developing this 'business plan'--disagreed with me on this. He thought that if it turned into sex, that should be okay. My thought, aside from the legal aspect, was that would make judgment inevitable. The women would be paying for sex, which feels demeaning, and the men would be compelled to have sex with whoever was willing to pay, or reject them. That's the opposite of what I wanted to create.
What I wanted was a low-cost, low-commitment space with firm boundaries where attention could be given lavishly without worrying about 'leading a woman on.' And again, the group training for men to learn to be 'escorts' was my favorite part. Whether it's the vaccines causing autism or ADHD, men who can have a real conversation are increasingly rare. And I just think a weeks-long course involving women as practice 'clients' and men willing to learn--including cooking and cocktails--could be so much fun. It's a permission to take initiative without rejection.
My name for this imaginary escort service was Real Sweethearts ;-)
It sounds rewarding to me. Go for it. I would enjoy posts about that. People might even pay for that.
As to healing I think the real stuff requires real intention, and that is rare.
#1 Regarding your video on the Isha, the Gita, and the Course:
Forgiveness of others is the only way to travel.
I am not interested in the thoughts of the ego. I do not gain from the loss of others. I celebrate other people's success. The more they succeed the happier the human race is as a collective. It's such a relief to me to think of everything as one thing. Comparison is the thief of joy.
I used to suffer from jealousy on some levels. I don't anymore. I might see someone's house in perfect shape and suddenly want to go home and clean and pressure wash mine, but that's not jealousy. That's inspiration, that's motivation, that's celebration.
#2 You said, "there IS always a why to what someone does". I have learned to love people where they are right now. Their reasons might not make any sense to me at all, but to them it does. It's that simple. Who knows why they think the way that they do and it's not even for me to understand.
As for "To know me is to love me", I think you are beautiful :)
Why DO they say "paying attention?" That's a messed-up phrase. I agree. I am going to try to remember this, "giving attention" idea.
#3 That Awakened Video with JP IS THE FUNNIEST ONE I HAVE SEEN SO FAR! HAHAHAHA> HIS OPENINING IS ENOUGH. Just the hi....HAHaha.
#3 The Utopian Imagination: Finding people who are engaging with the world we want to create. "Activist Anonymous", nice idea; we ARE here for a reason.
I love that you are a stone that drops your consciousness in from time to time and then you witness the ripples.
We can use their tools AND our tools. Being like the stone is a tool that we have with or without their tools.
Thanks for talking to me :)
#1A Such a profound and witty way to put it, "Forgiveness of others is the only way to travel." I don't know if you caught Kathleen's comment that her mom always said, "To understand all is to forgive all." And she would add, "because we can't understand it all, may as well skip to forgiveness." Isn't that great?
#1B I don't know if you caught my video that Envy is my go-to deadly sin. It's a pre-Substack one but I embedded it in this: https://thirdparadigm.substack.com/p/envy-and-russell-brand. Here's the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plL7kvxU4R8.
It was triggered a moment ago when I noticed the guy with the other Third Paradigm YT (and perhaps the prior claim, so I'm not challenging it) has 49K subs to my 1K. I think he started his a month earlier. But that's inspiration, right? What's really funny is that my dance teacher had told me I should title a YT 'How to get a Big Butt' and then do my usual content. His big breakthrough was on the attraction of Big Butts in archeology ;-) I watched as it went viral.
#2 That's a great way to put it. And thank you!
#3 Yes! I had to watch it again before responding. I love the way that the SPUA weaves his head back and forth like a viper hypnotizing his prey. The Goddess, the Holding Space, the Uncomfortably Long Eye-Contact, HILARIOUS!
Oooh I don't remember the stone analogy but I like it! Thanks for talking back to me ;-)
You said something about dropping your consciousness in like a stone, that your work ( with regard to your reading, writing and sharing) is contributing to the whole. You were talking about watching the ripple effect of that work like a stone in a body of water and you were discussing how a lot of people shrink away from doing the work that needs to be done, so they just throw up their hands and say "it will never be like that so why should I even try?". I think of my actions as a ripple a lot and I love stones and rocks in general. So, I agree with you and I enjoyed that example. You are creating ripples here, just with me alone. You have discussed many things that I have never heard of or delved into. You have planted a few seeds and I will will cultivate them! I like the skipping to forgiveness part as well. I do that now because I can and it makes for so much ease in difficult situations. When it's uncomfortable I fall on what I think of as "professional loving-kindness" as a default. Sometimes people are just baffled at how unmoved you are. You are just giving them their space to be a failing human. SOMETIMES when you give it to them, they actually do something positive with that. You might not see it right away, but I FEEL the change in the air. I mean, we do have the power to forgive people. Some people do not have that power. I would much rather decide what I want my relationships to look like rather than let people "push my buttons". I control my buttons from the inside now. They can't even find them to push them anymore.
Ah, but it IS a woman thing! Most straight men would lose their shit (so to speak) if a woman ventured backside. Women are in a very powerful position here: to create so much trust in men that he becomes willing to confront his GAY TERROR. If women deeply get how wounded we collectively are, they just may choose to show resplendent mercy on us. Through deep vulnerability we may experience profound intimacy, which becomes available following an extended encounter with cosmic orgasms. Everyone wins. It just takes a lot of love and courage.
If there was anything that could make men embrace their divine feminine side, it has to be cosmic orgasms. And 'resplendent mercy' is a great phrase. You're really a good writer.
Okay, I'm gonna binge watch Sex Ed and see if I can embrace my inner sex therapist like the character my daughter mentioned, although Dana Gillespie will always be Agent Sculley to me. And we'll see if I can talk about the metaphysical or the physical without being too abstract.
I love going from metaphysical-allegorical into Instructions Manual. Grounds the airy abstractions. I’m also into clear and practical. I could go on and on about how to experience these orgasms. But I’m tellin ya: once women get on board with this and the qualities of intimacy and transparency skyrocket in their relationships, we might just have a Movement on our hands!
I like your enthusiasm but I will leave the clear and practical to you, providing a link and a GAY TERROR trigger warning ;-) And I was mistaken, it's Gillian Anderson in Sex Ed. I'm giving it one more episode to see if it grows on me.
This essay explores the male capacity for ecstasy and inner --> outer communion. Women may choose to play a pivotal role in men’s awakening by initiating a type of bliss many (if not most) men have never experienced.
https://open.substack.com/pub/thecormorant/p/apocalyptic-ecstasy?r=2odwej&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
BTW this guy did mention chakras in the group convo after the aerial performance. I remember cringing a little and ignoring it. In retrospect, that was probably a sign.
Woah, THIS is your first post, Richard? Quite the sexual incendiary device. It certainly flips the paradigm of women embodying both the Divine Feminine and Masculine. Very well written and powerful.
It's making me wonder if I could possibly combine the Buckminster Fuller piece on Love as Metaphysical Gravity with yours. From Quantum Sex to Dragon Chakras. I'm not entirely sure where to go with it since it's not a woman thing, but maybe that's better. My daughter keeps trying to get me to watch the Netflix show Sex Ed because the mother reminds her of me. I may have to brush up on it to get the courage ;-)
“From Quantum Sex to Dragon Chakras”. Now THIS would be a rollicking project! I’m definitely down for us creating it.
This looks great, Cormorant, I'll read it after my dance class. Unless you want me to pose a question that you'll answer with every word bringing tender compassionate mercies to the world ;-)
Hopefully I have already answered your question in the essay. Do let me know if it passes muster😊
Ultimate Reality Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwxHf_kpZlU
Dance Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tnmR7MPSyo
Saxe-Gotha Economics Dept. ? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O7h-PQ4568s
Blue Suede Shoes & Lou Economics Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJFwLthN1KU
DEW-resistant Quack-Economics Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYx2WFaLKh8
Wish I Had The Dough To Hire Della Mae To Cover This Economics Dept. {at least there's dancing} https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aoywIHLqbs
Heavenly Gastro-Economic Strategies Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djB1h9Zds1k&t=1s
Dismantling Scientific Skeptics Who Said It Couldn't Be Done Dept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA4wli-a4sU
Mind blown on your first link! Bucky Fuller on love as metaphysical gravity. I understood about 1/10th and that was enough to let me know he's onto something. It's not just an impressive-sounding abstraction. I need to watch it again ... and again. Had my coffee date brought this up, I would have been smitten myself, and he would have fulfilled Agent Roger's noted lapse that he didn't use the word 'quantum' ;-)
Hope you find time to check the music clips, at least the Saxe-Gotha variation. Lots of appearances of 'quantum' in the Metaphysical Gravity clip, but mostly in photos of text. Here's a short clip with just Bucky speaking on the topic w/o saying the "Q word". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LM8oynQQSgA
The spiritual materialism coffee date guy's lingo sounds like he might have taken a few extra trips through the salad bar at the Logos Bar & Grill, one of those places where the veggies are an afterthought and the kitchen staff isn't diligent about rinsing glyphosate off of the once-rooted offerings...not Charlie Manson level word salad, but gettin' there.
Quantum Sex and Dragon Chakras? As long as the exposition wasn't overly abstruse, I'd probably read, watch or listen, but hopefully it would be structured to involve at least a humorous episode or two...e.g. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT3QYb7AN6k :-)
Yes, I did just check them out. The jitterbug geometry is fascinating. Love the Saxe-Gotha and it was interesting that the Elvis Costello was at Hardly Strictly. It's one of my daughter and her husband's favorite festivals so I've heard the name many times but never got that it was Hardly Strictly Bluegrass.
Haven't heard John Mellencamp in ages! Great kitchen dancing music. And the jukebox skit was great. Thanks for sending!
You are sooo funny...
I tell you my secret...
I piss people off until they hate me so much that they want to kill me...
Then I dig out the real guns...
I remember one particular Day when someone tried to teach me how great Michael Jackson was...
I made them a dish out of Vomit Blood Guts and snut...
When there are two things I am proud of it is my Music and my Kung Fu.
I am old school Punk... but I love pop also...
It is my training where I am at my best...
As a man I have so much passion for love... so much to give... that I have to protect it.
And that I do.
My ex (you know the pic you liked) thought she had me all sorted... now she's crying in the corner wishing me back.
Women mostly always are swooned by lip gloss and cheap champagne.
Yet to be worthy one must see the Quality behind the contradiction...
My primary weapon seems to be using someone's own words to show who they are. It was my technique with Malone and others. In this case, I've done little or no editorializing on this guy. Didn't have to. Just quote him.
However I've never known a woman swayed by lip gloss and cheap champagne. I'd also say that Jackson was an extremely hardworking dancer and perfectionist. I don't have idols but he inspired other male dancers I admire on the Kpop side (where my daughter's done a lot of research). And we have choreography to a couple of his songs, which are fun.
I'm not critical of anything about people other than two things--superiority and duplicity. If someone doesn't think they're better than other people, and isn't trying to deceive, I try to be as kind as possible even if he's not right for me. But once someone's condescending, the gloves are off.
You clearly haven't been to London...
I was refering to a Pulp song - Lipgloss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1MDpGCTdJxw
Love it...
The problem I have with dancers... they are all Gay...
I grew up loving David Bowie Bauhaus Joy Division and stuff like that... Punk... Wave...
We had a lot of fun doing all kind of things that were Left from the center... even left from left.
We embraced the femininity within the masculinity... they are not separate.
Gays have no femininity... they are pretenders.
There are a lot of similarities between Dancing practice and Kung Fu.
But in Kung Fu the reason and Intensity are way beyond anything... as is the understanding of life in general.
In Kung Fu... Truth as in ZEN is the most important thing.
I must admit... I feel superior of other people... not because of what I have but who I am.
And who I am is a story that most people would Ignore.
We are all born as a blank paper... a story to be written.
And I chose to write my own story... most people don't... they let others tell them.
My story is what makes me unique.
Am I bad?
Most people who have nothing to say... say too much... because they are scared to be found out.
XXX
The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoKQwquHKQo
Only had time to briefly scan the first part, and again, I call it brilliant. I have a very competent and attractive (in many ways) sister who goes through the same foolishness repeatedly and I am forever grateful that she has a head on her shoulders and quickly steps away from the sappiness and corniness she encounters.
I have long said that I'm glad I was born a man because "there ain't nothin out there" and am appalled at what's what's available and what passes for men.
I love sappiness and corniness, Geoff. I don't think we have nearly enough of those in the world. You and I got very lucky, getting to raise families and take on 'traditional' roles. I don't know if that's even possible in this next generation. I want to write another article looking at this from the man's pov. If 'what passes for men' is appalling as the rule and not the exception, something's gone wrong that's beyond individual choice.
When my single daughter has online dates, guys say, "I'm not going to tell you you're beautiful because I know you hear that all the time." And she thinks, 'you know, you could. It would be okay.' It's not the flirting that's wrong. We need more of that, without expectation. Indiscriminate, equal opportunity flirts.
Sappiness and corniess are for fun and not to be taken seriously. My wife and I are always laughing together and having a ball; most of it is pretty sappy and also corny. I'm talking about the guys who think they're being profoundly romantic or something. Stuff like your daughter seems to have been describing and the goofy baloney that comes out of Hollywood.
FYI, I have a view from the inside and I know how guys think. It's both sapppy and corny (at a minimum) in the not good sense. If I were a woman, I'd be sufferng from a permanent ogulogyric crisis.
Oculogyric crisis, hysterical! I had to look it up. I've been saying, "My eyes are pre-rolled," but this is much better if I can just figure out how to pronounce it ;-)
Ha ha...Yer eyes are pre-rolled, eh? Now that's funny!
I must repeat myself regarding your book. When it comes to economics, my eyes are pre-sleepy except when I read your work. Both the depth and the breadth of your understanding of how the (totally corrupt) system works is beyond my ability to adequately describe. And I'm not being corny! Your treatment of Detroit and the screwings the people get are beyond my imagination.
Anyway have you seen this site? I visit from time to time and its a continuous litany of outrage at the criminals with bucks.
https://wallstreetonparade.com/
Hi, Kate. I'm sorry for your experience, which does seem so shockingly common. But not always as men over women, as some men here and in my own circles can attest.
Corinthians was just reiterating the second story of the Bible in which God curses women with "Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.” I talk about it in this episode, which I think you might like for more on this topic: https://thirdparadigm.substack.com/p/in-the-blood-of-eden.
And in patriarchy, it's not the 'patri' that's the problem but the 'archy'. It doesn't matter who rules over who, once the right to rule has been established. Men have needed subservient wives so they could spend their time serving the 'market' aka oligarchs of profit. Now women serve the oligarchs and seem to be better at it, maybe because we've had more practice. So men are emasculated in terms of their power position but left with the expectation of being the provider. AND they have to be sensitive, use gender-inclusive language, bow and scrape.
This is resulting in anger against women but it's the oligarchs playing their fucking game with our heads. Divide and conquer. Meanwhile we have global slaves who are sustaining our lives with the food and products we need while we pay someone to raise our kids--because surely a competent person shouldn't be wasting her time on that when she has exploitable skills.
You nailed it again. All of it.
Your grandmother was a wise woman. Yes, it's simple logic. We bid against each other on mortgages so for one generation, women won the right to work. When houses rose to two incomes, they lost the choice to not work.