How did your daughter's wedding go? I love how you shared about your process with planning the wedding and that you had human hurt feelings, but found the key that released you and your daughter from those old patterns.
I've been thinking about the best way to move forward with friends and colleagues who shunned me for not getting the vaccine. I tend to take it personally. But I know on some level that it isn't personal - it's about their fears. How can we trust that the world won't just repeat these patterns unless there is some kind of reckoning? And further, do I need to ask for a reckoning with friends? Or does a reckoning need to happen only at the political level? I have started the reckoning conversations with my husband, who never shunned me, but he always believed I was making a choice and had to accept the consequences of my choice. Now I want him to get how painful it was to be shunned and shut out, even though it was a choice, and I'd really love for him to view my exclusions as unfair and unjust. Thoughts? I look forward to hearing how you are processing around the request for amnesty from some pro vaccine thought leaders.
marta! I'm so glad you posted. I've been wanting to tell you that my email no longer allows me to send, only receive. I didn't want you to think I was shunning you! Maybe it's part of the war on small, private domains, maybe just ordinary capitalism outsourcing whatever isn't profitable. In any case, I'm glad to get to respond to you here.
And I have no answers. Other than perhaps, be patient. I've been reading too about the Atlantic call for amnesty but I think that's just the beginning of mistakes becoming obvious. You may have the chance to be gracious yet AFTER the repercussions of the vaccine and lockdowns become more devastating. Give it a winter.
And rather than shunning you for trying to warn others, those same people may say, "If you knew, why didn't you do everything in your power to warn me?" So be prepared to be blamed either way and know that it isn't about you.
Tereza! Thanks for your response! My email address is martalettofsky@gmail. com if you want to connect via email. No pressure. I enjoy conversations with you. :)
Interesting perspective that it all might evolve into people being mad because we didn't warn them. I hope it doesn't get to that point. A small part of me wants revenge and for everyone to know I was 'right'....but for that to come true would mean a lot of suffering, and not from just the people who were mean. It would also mean suffering from people I love. Which means I'd be suffering too.
A colleague just asked about my updated vaccine status for a potential gig, and I've been keeping you and this post in mind. I am finally grown up enough to mostly not take it personally. I can see it's about her and her fears and the precarious nature of her health.
I'm afraid that technology has conspired to cure me of my email habit. I can receive but it doesn't allow me to send. However, I'm happy to respond here!
I agree completely with both of your sentiments in wanting to be proven right and shrinking in horror from what that could look like. I'm glad that I'm not in charge of how this plays out.
I'm glad if this helps you in any way know how to respond. I'm definitely muddling through that myself, sometimes kicking myself for speaking up and other times for not speaking up. It's really a terrible dilemma we've been put in.
Haha, that is so true! The only thing harder is doing the impossible, which would be changing Reality instead of figuring out what it is ;-) It's such a delight having you watching me!
Suggestions regarding Acim daily lessons - Carol Howe’s you-tubes on each are fantastic. I would also recommend pathways of light - their discussion of each lesson were posted 10 years ago, but seem to have been written by different individuals about their reflection on that day’s lesson.
Since you have done them many times, consider pairing your reading w Brent Haskell’s Journey Without Words. One chapter per week of lessons - it really helped me internalize the ideas
Another interesting and insightful post. And again I was interrupted, when I came back you were talking about living in the moment, and not dragging your history/projections into the moment and the third agreement.
Example: When you’re in college and somebody asks you out for pizza it’s about being hungry. When you’re 50, single, and somebody asks you out for pizza it comes with Past break ups or arguments in pizza parlors, and every other emotionally intense event you carry associated with pizzas.
Often times, for example, families are matriarchal hierarchies. Of course the secondary issue may that many matriarchies themselves are patriarchal in structure. (My childhood family certainly was.)
Is the question deeper, looking at the nature of vertical structures versus flat structures? Is it about respect within a hierarchy, what Peterson calls voluntary mutual reciprocity?
I'm writing about that right now as it applies to Obedience to Authority, Mass Formation and Woke. So interesting.
Thank you. All the best with the wedding ritual. A huge life transition for everyone.
Thank you Guy! Some of us women had a lively discussion about that on Charles Eisenstein's thread on feminine power, I think it was. We were trying to come up with a new term for a horizontal network of mother-led social structures. It was pointed out that matriarchy contains archons or rulers, which is the same pyramidal structure substituting women. I think my Interdependence vs. Interbeing explores this idea.
I look forward to your article, sounds very interesting! And thanks for the good wishes!
You may be struggling against the biology of the lobster.
In my WIP I have come to a horrific conclusion about this: put into action and practice things like the four agreements, yoga, meditation, the spiritual practices beneath religion: time to move out of the machinations of the amygdala.
A word for "horizontal network of mother-led social structures": maturation? ;-)
The challenge for such networks to work 'organically' is the reality of the Pareto effect as it applies to human social constructs. Peterson talks about it well.
(I wasn't too kind to Eisenstein: I thought he was too soft on the Oster (empty) mea culpa.)
All the best, with peace, love and gratitude. Now back to my obedience piece. Good night.
How did your daughter's wedding go? I love how you shared about your process with planning the wedding and that you had human hurt feelings, but found the key that released you and your daughter from those old patterns.
I've been thinking about the best way to move forward with friends and colleagues who shunned me for not getting the vaccine. I tend to take it personally. But I know on some level that it isn't personal - it's about their fears. How can we trust that the world won't just repeat these patterns unless there is some kind of reckoning? And further, do I need to ask for a reckoning with friends? Or does a reckoning need to happen only at the political level? I have started the reckoning conversations with my husband, who never shunned me, but he always believed I was making a choice and had to accept the consequences of my choice. Now I want him to get how painful it was to be shunned and shut out, even though it was a choice, and I'd really love for him to view my exclusions as unfair and unjust. Thoughts? I look forward to hearing how you are processing around the request for amnesty from some pro vaccine thought leaders.
marta! I'm so glad you posted. I've been wanting to tell you that my email no longer allows me to send, only receive. I didn't want you to think I was shunning you! Maybe it's part of the war on small, private domains, maybe just ordinary capitalism outsourcing whatever isn't profitable. In any case, I'm glad to get to respond to you here.
And I have no answers. Other than perhaps, be patient. I've been reading too about the Atlantic call for amnesty but I think that's just the beginning of mistakes becoming obvious. You may have the chance to be gracious yet AFTER the repercussions of the vaccine and lockdowns become more devastating. Give it a winter.
And rather than shunning you for trying to warn others, those same people may say, "If you knew, why didn't you do everything in your power to warn me?" So be prepared to be blamed either way and know that it isn't about you.
Tereza! Thanks for your response! My email address is martalettofsky@gmail. com if you want to connect via email. No pressure. I enjoy conversations with you. :)
Interesting perspective that it all might evolve into people being mad because we didn't warn them. I hope it doesn't get to that point. A small part of me wants revenge and for everyone to know I was 'right'....but for that to come true would mean a lot of suffering, and not from just the people who were mean. It would also mean suffering from people I love. Which means I'd be suffering too.
A colleague just asked about my updated vaccine status for a potential gig, and I've been keeping you and this post in mind. I am finally grown up enough to mostly not take it personally. I can see it's about her and her fears and the precarious nature of her health.
I'm afraid that technology has conspired to cure me of my email habit. I can receive but it doesn't allow me to send. However, I'm happy to respond here!
I agree completely with both of your sentiments in wanting to be proven right and shrinking in horror from what that could look like. I'm glad that I'm not in charge of how this plays out.
I'm glad if this helps you in any way know how to respond. I'm definitely muddling through that myself, sometimes kicking myself for speaking up and other times for not speaking up. It's really a terrible dilemma we've been put in.
Oh, and the wedding was four days of magic! I'll talk about it in a video soon.
As easily as changing one’s mind. Yes! Which turns out not to be so easy.. doing lots of work on this currently. It’s a journey!
Haha, that is so true! The only thing harder is doing the impossible, which would be changing Reality instead of figuring out what it is ;-) It's such a delight having you watching me!
Suggestions regarding Acim daily lessons - Carol Howe’s you-tubes on each are fantastic. I would also recommend pathways of light - their discussion of each lesson were posted 10 years ago, but seem to have been written by different individuals about their reflection on that day’s lesson.
Since you have done them many times, consider pairing your reading w Brent Haskell’s Journey Without Words. One chapter per week of lessons - it really helped me internalize the ideas
Thanks for the suggestions, Elizabeth!
Another interesting and insightful post. And again I was interrupted, when I came back you were talking about living in the moment, and not dragging your history/projections into the moment and the third agreement.
Example: When you’re in college and somebody asks you out for pizza it’s about being hungry. When you’re 50, single, and somebody asks you out for pizza it comes with Past break ups or arguments in pizza parlors, and every other emotionally intense event you carry associated with pizzas.
Nice poem!
Not all hierarchies are patriarchal.
Often times, for example, families are matriarchal hierarchies. Of course the secondary issue may that many matriarchies themselves are patriarchal in structure. (My childhood family certainly was.)
Is the question deeper, looking at the nature of vertical structures versus flat structures? Is it about respect within a hierarchy, what Peterson calls voluntary mutual reciprocity?
I'm writing about that right now as it applies to Obedience to Authority, Mass Formation and Woke. So interesting.
Thank you. All the best with the wedding ritual. A huge life transition for everyone.
Thank you Guy! Some of us women had a lively discussion about that on Charles Eisenstein's thread on feminine power, I think it was. We were trying to come up with a new term for a horizontal network of mother-led social structures. It was pointed out that matriarchy contains archons or rulers, which is the same pyramidal structure substituting women. I think my Interdependence vs. Interbeing explores this idea.
I look forward to your article, sounds very interesting! And thanks for the good wishes!
You may be struggling against the biology of the lobster.
In my WIP I have come to a horrific conclusion about this: put into action and practice things like the four agreements, yoga, meditation, the spiritual practices beneath religion: time to move out of the machinations of the amygdala.
A word for "horizontal network of mother-led social structures": maturation? ;-)
The challenge for such networks to work 'organically' is the reality of the Pareto effect as it applies to human social constructs. Peterson talks about it well.
(I wasn't too kind to Eisenstein: I thought he was too soft on the Oster (empty) mea culpa.)
All the best, with peace, love and gratitude. Now back to my obedience piece. Good night.