Thanks, Tereza. (I'm popping out of my self-imposed retreat to comment briefly.)
I agree with your conclusions on the slave system thwarting everyone.
Of course it's not just the insane money system, it's been everything. The divide and conquer - repeated again and again - to keep us arguing with each other so those pulling the strings are always out of sight.
Big sigh.
Yes something has gone terribly wrong. Dissecting the symptoms rarely leads to getting at the cause and a massive reorientation is needed. Rather than trying to figure out how men and women can come together in such a distorted landscape, we need to reject and abandon the landscape, and create something sane again, where we at least we start with the idea that people are equal, everyone is worthy of respect and compassion and that underneath all our drives - including sex and security - is love.
It's all been hijacked, as you know.
It can all be so much simpler, outside all this noise.
I didn't know what a thot is, I sort of wish I didn't now. Commoditizing sex isn't new, of course. But treating the commoditization of humanity as if it's a thing we need to incorporate in how we interact with each other is implicitly agreeing to this imposition, as if it's real and happened naturally. It isn't and didn't and I reject the whole construct.
I imagine a world post the shedding of a lot of this. How long does that take? IDK. Very tough to navigate in the meantime. The superficial differences we've been trained to focus on, where all the division lives, that perpetuates so much noise, can so easily be dropped into something deeper, that just naturally unites.
We were never intended to work so hard, for what is so natural.
Thanks for adding your brightness, clarity and humor, Tereza; for using your 'pretty little head' to such good use.
i'll add another odd tendril to it that that neither of you even hinted at: the incel business. many years ago, before political correctness had gained a foothold before morphing into so-called woke-dei stuff, i remember watching a series about the sexes. frequency of sexual intercourse was something that came up and it turns out that the so-called 'ugliness' of a woman had almost no bearing on sexual opportunity and action — for the woman. on the other hand, ugly men had very little chance of sexual intercourse. at the time this was linked with the importance and power that women have in advancing the 'best in kind' into the gene pool.
i would imagine that carter has addressed this? i don't have time to look into that at this time and it doesn't have a high enough standing in my interest scale to displace the other interesting stuff. peterson has addressed this, of course.
humorous aside: rather bizarrely, a self-appointed(?) spokes person for 'beautiful' women, actress olivia wilde in the total absolute confidence of empty-headed ignorance publicly dismissed jordan peterson as the leader of the incels. the context was that she made(?) a movie that modelled an immoral man after her image of jordan peterson — i think that was it. it was interesting to see a woman self-representing herself in this way and in that 'appointment' dismissed casually and brutally a sub-class of human — another example of an undeserving class being created and perpetuated and so easily dismissed as unworthy of being alive.
Tereza, I love your brilliance and courage here. I just see you walking into big convos with no holds barred, your intelligence at the forefront, and trusting yourself to wade into thick waters. Thank you for role modeling your calm and courage in divisive topics.
I didn't read John Carter or zinnia's essay - but the thing that stands out to me, and which you address as well, is that women can't win in his world view. What is his solution for healthier masculine/feminine - male/female relationships? I like your solution - children at the center, women tending, plus the men and others who choose to tend, and men supporting and protecting this sacred circle.
I love that my man has chosen to tend and learned how to be more tender in his parenting, but he defers to me. Mostly because I'm willing to cull through the bullshit ways of parenting these days, and not go by normal standards. I had to learn that the hard way - starting off with giving him equal consideration and his choices hurt my son early in life. The mama bear came out and set boundaries and it took a long time for us to figure out our balance. I'm open to rebalancing towards more health for our family, when the ideas are compelling enough!
And I don't know how to reconcile this circle of life with my wants and needs at this time. My son is 8, and I want to be both a very involved parent, and also have a small business. My business always gets put to the side when my son isn't in school, such as these two weeks of spring break. How do I reconcile my needs for showing up in the world with being as connected to my son as I am?
Daaaamn, girl. I couldn't not read, then not watch this episode. And I'm still working my way up from your earlier works. Good thing you throw some in with your current ones too.
Now you don't be messing with my boy, JC? lol kidding. But looking at both sides and obvious generation gaps within the Substack community's pool of enlightenment, we can see the full effects of misguided regulatory backscratchers. The evolution of what ancient Egyptian's have mastered over the millennia.
Ho's and Bro's, the Kardashians, hip-hop and Ballers. And they used to say rock & roll was the problem before that. I agree the problem is and has been, post 1776 and the US made it's progress historical after the Revolution whilst not engaging in foreign affairs: Isolation.
Much like the days in the story of Moses the lawmaker. The Rush albums like 2112, songs written by Neil Pert: Temple of Syrinx. It's practically foretelling what's going on.
Back to JC, he's correct because of the fact that we'd have to literally go back in time to fix what the deciders have done, or freeze time and smash the fuckers to pieces. The agenda is written, they have the game fixed. What we're witnessing is the residually planned side effects of thousands of years of world domination, same process, different time. Money is their ultimate weapon. Everything is money because that's how it all works. If not money it's food, if not food it's family, if not family, it's whatever you possess, if not possessions it's your life and if not your life it's your spouse's, if not the spouse it's your child, if not the children it's your pet. Get it? Pure evil.
Technology cannot be put into the hands of people that want to capitalize from it in any way, shape or form, only for the benefit to all humanity so that our environment can be one with God or Nature, as many people prefer to believe. I say to the establishment, Go the Fuck Back To Egypt and stay there. Get back in the fuckin pyramids and take the fuck off, back to where you came, never return to our blessed planet. Fuckin aliens.
I'm not going to jump into this quagmire as it's a no-win situation. Battle of the sexes I'm certain predates Adam & Eve. I bet God has his own 'Man-Cave' to retreat to.
I"m not going to read it............................simply because I really don't care.
My relationship with my opposite is between the two of us and the 'Rules' are a constantly moving target. Principled in trust, respect, need for some personal space (and avoiding topics where we simply agree to disagree) helps keep the 'Dance' fun, and without endpoint.
Just to put the 'Rules' in perspective I signed us up for a 'sewing class' (knock yourself over with a feather, I know) today.
Imagine Tereza if your significant let you know that the two of you are signed up for a 'Worldanz' & Blue Martinis' Class. Manly? Anti-Manly? Tonic-Relations? Would I be stripped of my 'Man Card'?
Two thoughts about relationships:
Some women were discussing their relationships when one of them declares:
"For me, it's really quite simple, a woman needs a man that is fiercely strong and a protecter of the family.
And I need the man to be an excellent lover, meeting all my needs for passion.
And I need this man to be an excellent father to the children, caring and understanding.
And lastly I need the man to be sensitive to me, my idiosyncrasies and still love and accept me.
And truly, the MOST IMPORTANT thing of all.............................................these 4 men should never meet.
And on the more serious side of the relationship 'Dance':
During and after the massive Tsunami that hit Thailand a number of years ago, washing away entire shoreline living inhabitants, the warning was sounded ahead of time and people fled as soon as they could.
Running as fast as they could, men carried the babies and small children while women did their best with the youngsters at unfortunately a lesser speed.
Some survived, but many perished as the Tsunami was registered as as high as 60 feet.
Within days after the devastation receded back into the Indian Ocean survivors returned to their shoreline.
What was most interesting was that the men returned with their surviving offspring, not to celebrate their victory against sure death, but they came looking for ANY surviving FEMALE members of the community. Their hope was to find a female mother to TAKE the children and raise them because the man/father was simply physically/emotionally unable to do so all by themselves.
Conclusion: Women clearly define "COMMUNITY" and hold it together.
Women are the 'Center' that glues the fabric of existence together.
Yes men have clear functions as well.
Without both, we would have all perished long ago.
And therefore we should NEVER disvalue the importance of both.
My opinion of one of course.
Now I need to get back to figuring out how to thread a needle and load a bobbin with my manly fat fingers and thumbs.....................whatever a bobbin is.
You covered a lot of great points here in the male and female dynamic. There are many excellent comments here too.
On Beauty of the Feminine; there's an unspoken deep seated acknowledgement, there exists in the male gaze. While quite often it may convey desirability and attractiveness, a simple and sweet smile will give a sense of warm acceptance. In an esoteric way, what do we see when we notice someone beautiful? We are experiencing the inner Self. Beauty is it's reflection, not to detract from the other person; but the other person, is also experiencing the inner Self. The attractiveness is not just biological, it's Energetic. We are all experiencing the biological aspect in varying ways, with psychological self acceptance and sometimes social self worth tied to appearance based judgment. I've had to help my daughter to realize that her sense of self worth is not tied to the approval she thinks she gets socially. She has adjusted quite well, with a great sense of humor and excellent sense of balance and personal confidence.
Thank you for a most riveting analysis Tereza. This I a subject I could write volumes on and interests me immensely because I believe the source of our malaise today is the imbalance of the masculine and the feminine. Everything we do is solely male-oriented. Truly everything. So it is like looking at the world with one eye only and does a huge disservice to all of humanity and nature. Trust between women and men is priceless and we need to restore this again, which is easy if we understand what is going on.
Firstly, we need to look at circumcision. This barbaric practice needs to end and it is up to mothers to make sure it does. What this does I would imagine is make a boy grow up with an inbuilt distrust of mother which he then internalizes subconsciously and carries around with him unknowingly. He blames women because deep down inside, mother wasn’t “there” for him, mother didn’t protect him and he knows this with every cell of his being.
It is true of course. Imagine who thought that up – slicing off the sexual glans of a baby in order to be “cleaner”. You just can’t make this stuff up. It’s like we have been directed by the most twisted minds and we are just waking up to this now after eons of horror and misery. But I think that’s it, that’s what incites men to look at women as though we are worthless. We need to recognize well that women are now almost totally entrenched in patriarchal thinking because we have been taught by the patriarchy, worked in the patriarchy and live by it.
Men have everything to say about abortion. Men kept women out of business affairs, education and public life. Who would want to do that? There is something in men that is envious, I think that’s where it stems from because woman have a huge intellect, it comes easy, we figure things out and are ten steps ahead of men. That is because women think in terms of long-terms because women get pregnant and nurture children. Men ejaculate and are more immediate. Men are the builders, women are the designers. Women see the big picture while men see details. That’s what builders do. Architects design because they have a big view. We have to work together – one without the other leads us to impotence for both (as we can see)
It is not a competition but our entire civilization is based on competition and self-gain. These are very poor things to build a civilization on. They exist because on their own, predatory men brought them in. Warring men who favored invasion and colonization, who held no ethics in personal sovereignty.
Patriarchy usurped matriarchy where women didn’t rule, they owned everything and let people work out their own problems unless there was an impasse in which case, the women’s counsel would be sought. They didn’t sit every day, for eight hours waiting for problems to come to them! Patriarchy thinks like that. Patriarchy wants to control and so to control it requires certainty and thus everything must be scheduled and arranged beforehand.
This is a little about how I think it came about to what we have today. It hinges on circumcision and war. Women must be opposed mightily to anything that harms the body or kills. We need to even get the word “anti-biotic” out of our lingo. Our language is so filled with killing terms that we barely blink when we talk about war. War and weaponry are the purview of men. The exceptions only prove the rule. We must look at ratios rather than instances.
While many men see women as worthless sluts, it’s funny that they never see themselves as warmongering psychopaths. A woman having an abortion receives more vitriol than a man dropping bombs on people he doesn’t even know. This is how warped our views are and it all comes about because women’s wisdom is never sought or even recognized. We live in a totally male-designed patrix. But now women at least are able to change that pattern and initiate something new. We are the designers remember! Men who care about empowering everyone could notice when an imbalance of women occurs and invite women to chime in and get her perspective. There is a whole universe of intelligence we are not tapping and it impoverishes everyone including men.
Among so many other things going old world-wide, I am also trying to come to grips with my own impending mortality. So male-female relationships and my failure to start my own family have recently been on my mind. I am still collecting data and trying to integrate it with my experience and intuition. Maybe terminally so.
But one guy I've found to bring me new insights is psychologist Orion Taraban. Even after a couple of listens, about my only hedges are the differences in social contexts between Japan and the U.S. I have not yet read his book, but here are Soft White Underbelly's interviews with him.
Another great post, thanks for writing this. (I haven't watched the video.)
My experience in the last dozen years has given me a slightly different view of your statement that "Taking care of places is where masculinity comes into its own. Men like to build, to make things, to tinker with a machine until it works." I certainly did a lot of that in my two marriages, but in my second marriage we both did a lot of the building. We built a house together, doing most of the work ourselves (with the exception of the foundation). My ex-wife was, in fact, more of a brute than I was, doing more of the heavy lifting and physical labor. She did nearly all of the roofing, flooring, and interior sheathing, and the kitchen construction later. I was more the brains of the team, reading and understanding the instructions, cutting all of the wood, figuring out how to do the plumbing and electrical, designing the interior walls, etc.
I've also known a woman who could do things like rebuild car engines, and a man who stayed at home with the kids while his wife worked as computer programmer.
I guess what I'm saying is that it's possible for men and women to break out of their stereotypes in real ways.
About 20 years ago I had directed a play by German playwright Frank Wedekind who is known for prodding stilted German society into talking frankly about sex. His version of the femme fatale is one who climbs the class ladder, leaving dead bodies in her wake, figuratively and literally, but in the end she gets her wish - to fall prey to one who is a better hunter than she is.
I don’t know if women follow social norms because they have to or because they want to. When I ask myself that question and I’m being honest, I wish I had met someone who was a provider and a protector but because I didn’t, I became one myself. I’ve enjoyed the role because I’ve played it well and it’s easy to enjoy that which you’re good at.
Masculinity and femininity both hold magic. They’re both sacred. I appreciate you looking at the subject. Even if it’s fraught with unsavoury opinions.
Thank you for this and all your brilliant work. I’m deep into your impressive and important book and highly recommend. Decoy 9/11 beat me to the ‘punch’ here (sorry so male) and articulated much better than I could have.
It’s clear if you’re alert that the “battle of the sexes” is part of Power’s divide and conquer rule. When I used to read the New York Times, I really wanted to track all the articles that were being written telling women how society, or the patriarchy or something is screwing them over.
"zinnia’s partial explanation of zoomer girl derangement does a sensitive job of detailing the ways in which girls deal with their innate desire for the male gaze: commodify it, resist it through anorexia or transgenderism, or embrace it to fall in love and become a mother. Nowhere is there a breath of criticism of men. Is this also what men want?"
It was not the purview of her article to comment about men and their disfunction, it was about giving voice to what young women are going through, in this society that has become pathologically confused about sex. I thought it a very thoughtful and beautiful article, and I encouraged her to write more and expand on the topic.
"Use that pretty little head, zinnia, to change the fucking system. Or the system and men like John Carter will find the cheapest way of fucking you."
This I thought was demanding more of her than what any man might expect. Does Zinnia not capitalize her anon, or is that you condescending? Real men have skills, and criticize ideas, not taking cheap shots at people. It was John who originally cross-posted her article, not you.
I don't know if tonic masculinity really describes what John is up to, but I am going to challenge you to talk less about how certain men are not living up to your idea of tonic masculinity and start describing what you think tonic femininity might be like.
No cliff-hanger here like a highway 1 in Big Sur except for the fact that this could be a good reading while waiting. I have no time or desire to go deeper into the subject matter like Russain dolls deployment of who said what and when. We may have too much leisure time that we use at not solving anything. It is unreal that it will go on forever.
Thanks, Tereza. (I'm popping out of my self-imposed retreat to comment briefly.)
I agree with your conclusions on the slave system thwarting everyone.
Of course it's not just the insane money system, it's been everything. The divide and conquer - repeated again and again - to keep us arguing with each other so those pulling the strings are always out of sight.
Big sigh.
Yes something has gone terribly wrong. Dissecting the symptoms rarely leads to getting at the cause and a massive reorientation is needed. Rather than trying to figure out how men and women can come together in such a distorted landscape, we need to reject and abandon the landscape, and create something sane again, where we at least we start with the idea that people are equal, everyone is worthy of respect and compassion and that underneath all our drives - including sex and security - is love.
It's all been hijacked, as you know.
It can all be so much simpler, outside all this noise.
I didn't know what a thot is, I sort of wish I didn't now. Commoditizing sex isn't new, of course. But treating the commoditization of humanity as if it's a thing we need to incorporate in how we interact with each other is implicitly agreeing to this imposition, as if it's real and happened naturally. It isn't and didn't and I reject the whole construct.
I imagine a world post the shedding of a lot of this. How long does that take? IDK. Very tough to navigate in the meantime. The superficial differences we've been trained to focus on, where all the division lives, that perpetuates so much noise, can so easily be dropped into something deeper, that just naturally unites.
We were never intended to work so hard, for what is so natural.
Thanks for adding your brightness, clarity and humor, Tereza; for using your 'pretty little head' to such good use.
Best.
interesting discussion.
i'll add another odd tendril to it that that neither of you even hinted at: the incel business. many years ago, before political correctness had gained a foothold before morphing into so-called woke-dei stuff, i remember watching a series about the sexes. frequency of sexual intercourse was something that came up and it turns out that the so-called 'ugliness' of a woman had almost no bearing on sexual opportunity and action — for the woman. on the other hand, ugly men had very little chance of sexual intercourse. at the time this was linked with the importance and power that women have in advancing the 'best in kind' into the gene pool.
i would imagine that carter has addressed this? i don't have time to look into that at this time and it doesn't have a high enough standing in my interest scale to displace the other interesting stuff. peterson has addressed this, of course.
humorous aside: rather bizarrely, a self-appointed(?) spokes person for 'beautiful' women, actress olivia wilde in the total absolute confidence of empty-headed ignorance publicly dismissed jordan peterson as the leader of the incels. the context was that she made(?) a movie that modelled an immoral man after her image of jordan peterson — i think that was it. it was interesting to see a woman self-representing herself in this way and in that 'appointment' dismissed casually and brutally a sub-class of human — another example of an undeserving class being created and perpetuated and so easily dismissed as unworthy of being alive.
Tereza, I love your brilliance and courage here. I just see you walking into big convos with no holds barred, your intelligence at the forefront, and trusting yourself to wade into thick waters. Thank you for role modeling your calm and courage in divisive topics.
I didn't read John Carter or zinnia's essay - but the thing that stands out to me, and which you address as well, is that women can't win in his world view. What is his solution for healthier masculine/feminine - male/female relationships? I like your solution - children at the center, women tending, plus the men and others who choose to tend, and men supporting and protecting this sacred circle.
I love that my man has chosen to tend and learned how to be more tender in his parenting, but he defers to me. Mostly because I'm willing to cull through the bullshit ways of parenting these days, and not go by normal standards. I had to learn that the hard way - starting off with giving him equal consideration and his choices hurt my son early in life. The mama bear came out and set boundaries and it took a long time for us to figure out our balance. I'm open to rebalancing towards more health for our family, when the ideas are compelling enough!
And I don't know how to reconcile this circle of life with my wants and needs at this time. My son is 8, and I want to be both a very involved parent, and also have a small business. My business always gets put to the side when my son isn't in school, such as these two weeks of spring break. How do I reconcile my needs for showing up in the world with being as connected to my son as I am?
Daaaamn, girl. I couldn't not read, then not watch this episode. And I'm still working my way up from your earlier works. Good thing you throw some in with your current ones too.
Now you don't be messing with my boy, JC? lol kidding. But looking at both sides and obvious generation gaps within the Substack community's pool of enlightenment, we can see the full effects of misguided regulatory backscratchers. The evolution of what ancient Egyptian's have mastered over the millennia.
Ho's and Bro's, the Kardashians, hip-hop and Ballers. And they used to say rock & roll was the problem before that. I agree the problem is and has been, post 1776 and the US made it's progress historical after the Revolution whilst not engaging in foreign affairs: Isolation.
Much like the days in the story of Moses the lawmaker. The Rush albums like 2112, songs written by Neil Pert: Temple of Syrinx. It's practically foretelling what's going on.
Back to JC, he's correct because of the fact that we'd have to literally go back in time to fix what the deciders have done, or freeze time and smash the fuckers to pieces. The agenda is written, they have the game fixed. What we're witnessing is the residually planned side effects of thousands of years of world domination, same process, different time. Money is their ultimate weapon. Everything is money because that's how it all works. If not money it's food, if not food it's family, if not family, it's whatever you possess, if not possessions it's your life and if not your life it's your spouse's, if not the spouse it's your child, if not the children it's your pet. Get it? Pure evil.
Technology cannot be put into the hands of people that want to capitalize from it in any way, shape or form, only for the benefit to all humanity so that our environment can be one with God or Nature, as many people prefer to believe. I say to the establishment, Go the Fuck Back To Egypt and stay there. Get back in the fuckin pyramids and take the fuck off, back to where you came, never return to our blessed planet. Fuckin aliens.
I'm not going to jump into this quagmire as it's a no-win situation. Battle of the sexes I'm certain predates Adam & Eve. I bet God has his own 'Man-Cave' to retreat to.
This article just hit my 'Inbox':
The Magic of Sex
Male and Female Polarity in Western Esotericism
WILLIAM HUNTER DUNCAN
APR 5
https://williamhunterduncan.substack.com/p/the-magic-of-sex?publication_id=988747&post_id=143263057&isFreemail=true&r=rc3yr&triedRedirect=true&utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
I"m not going to read it............................simply because I really don't care.
My relationship with my opposite is between the two of us and the 'Rules' are a constantly moving target. Principled in trust, respect, need for some personal space (and avoiding topics where we simply agree to disagree) helps keep the 'Dance' fun, and without endpoint.
Just to put the 'Rules' in perspective I signed us up for a 'sewing class' (knock yourself over with a feather, I know) today.
Imagine Tereza if your significant let you know that the two of you are signed up for a 'Worldanz' & Blue Martinis' Class. Manly? Anti-Manly? Tonic-Relations? Would I be stripped of my 'Man Card'?
Two thoughts about relationships:
Some women were discussing their relationships when one of them declares:
"For me, it's really quite simple, a woman needs a man that is fiercely strong and a protecter of the family.
And I need the man to be an excellent lover, meeting all my needs for passion.
And I need this man to be an excellent father to the children, caring and understanding.
And lastly I need the man to be sensitive to me, my idiosyncrasies and still love and accept me.
And truly, the MOST IMPORTANT thing of all.............................................these 4 men should never meet.
And on the more serious side of the relationship 'Dance':
During and after the massive Tsunami that hit Thailand a number of years ago, washing away entire shoreline living inhabitants, the warning was sounded ahead of time and people fled as soon as they could.
Running as fast as they could, men carried the babies and small children while women did their best with the youngsters at unfortunately a lesser speed.
Some survived, but many perished as the Tsunami was registered as as high as 60 feet.
Within days after the devastation receded back into the Indian Ocean survivors returned to their shoreline.
What was most interesting was that the men returned with their surviving offspring, not to celebrate their victory against sure death, but they came looking for ANY surviving FEMALE members of the community. Their hope was to find a female mother to TAKE the children and raise them because the man/father was simply physically/emotionally unable to do so all by themselves.
Conclusion: Women clearly define "COMMUNITY" and hold it together.
Women are the 'Center' that glues the fabric of existence together.
Yes men have clear functions as well.
Without both, we would have all perished long ago.
And therefore we should NEVER disvalue the importance of both.
My opinion of one of course.
Now I need to get back to figuring out how to thread a needle and load a bobbin with my manly fat fingers and thumbs.....................whatever a bobbin is.
You covered a lot of great points here in the male and female dynamic. There are many excellent comments here too.
On Beauty of the Feminine; there's an unspoken deep seated acknowledgement, there exists in the male gaze. While quite often it may convey desirability and attractiveness, a simple and sweet smile will give a sense of warm acceptance. In an esoteric way, what do we see when we notice someone beautiful? We are experiencing the inner Self. Beauty is it's reflection, not to detract from the other person; but the other person, is also experiencing the inner Self. The attractiveness is not just biological, it's Energetic. We are all experiencing the biological aspect in varying ways, with psychological self acceptance and sometimes social self worth tied to appearance based judgment. I've had to help my daughter to realize that her sense of self worth is not tied to the approval she thinks she gets socially. She has adjusted quite well, with a great sense of humor and excellent sense of balance and personal confidence.
Huge John Carter fan, but mainly for the resistance to anti-European trends. I like your points too, well worth reading
Thank you for a most riveting analysis Tereza. This I a subject I could write volumes on and interests me immensely because I believe the source of our malaise today is the imbalance of the masculine and the feminine. Everything we do is solely male-oriented. Truly everything. So it is like looking at the world with one eye only and does a huge disservice to all of humanity and nature. Trust between women and men is priceless and we need to restore this again, which is easy if we understand what is going on.
Firstly, we need to look at circumcision. This barbaric practice needs to end and it is up to mothers to make sure it does. What this does I would imagine is make a boy grow up with an inbuilt distrust of mother which he then internalizes subconsciously and carries around with him unknowingly. He blames women because deep down inside, mother wasn’t “there” for him, mother didn’t protect him and he knows this with every cell of his being.
It is true of course. Imagine who thought that up – slicing off the sexual glans of a baby in order to be “cleaner”. You just can’t make this stuff up. It’s like we have been directed by the most twisted minds and we are just waking up to this now after eons of horror and misery. But I think that’s it, that’s what incites men to look at women as though we are worthless. We need to recognize well that women are now almost totally entrenched in patriarchal thinking because we have been taught by the patriarchy, worked in the patriarchy and live by it.
Men have everything to say about abortion. Men kept women out of business affairs, education and public life. Who would want to do that? There is something in men that is envious, I think that’s where it stems from because woman have a huge intellect, it comes easy, we figure things out and are ten steps ahead of men. That is because women think in terms of long-terms because women get pregnant and nurture children. Men ejaculate and are more immediate. Men are the builders, women are the designers. Women see the big picture while men see details. That’s what builders do. Architects design because they have a big view. We have to work together – one without the other leads us to impotence for both (as we can see)
It is not a competition but our entire civilization is based on competition and self-gain. These are very poor things to build a civilization on. They exist because on their own, predatory men brought them in. Warring men who favored invasion and colonization, who held no ethics in personal sovereignty.
Patriarchy usurped matriarchy where women didn’t rule, they owned everything and let people work out their own problems unless there was an impasse in which case, the women’s counsel would be sought. They didn’t sit every day, for eight hours waiting for problems to come to them! Patriarchy thinks like that. Patriarchy wants to control and so to control it requires certainty and thus everything must be scheduled and arranged beforehand.
This is a little about how I think it came about to what we have today. It hinges on circumcision and war. Women must be opposed mightily to anything that harms the body or kills. We need to even get the word “anti-biotic” out of our lingo. Our language is so filled with killing terms that we barely blink when we talk about war. War and weaponry are the purview of men. The exceptions only prove the rule. We must look at ratios rather than instances.
While many men see women as worthless sluts, it’s funny that they never see themselves as warmongering psychopaths. A woman having an abortion receives more vitriol than a man dropping bombs on people he doesn’t even know. This is how warped our views are and it all comes about because women’s wisdom is never sought or even recognized. We live in a totally male-designed patrix. But now women at least are able to change that pattern and initiate something new. We are the designers remember! Men who care about empowering everyone could notice when an imbalance of women occurs and invite women to chime in and get her perspective. There is a whole universe of intelligence we are not tapping and it impoverishes everyone including men.
Hi Tereza.
Well written (as usual) and thought out.
Among so many other things going old world-wide, I am also trying to come to grips with my own impending mortality. So male-female relationships and my failure to start my own family have recently been on my mind. I am still collecting data and trying to integrate it with my experience and intuition. Maybe terminally so.
But one guy I've found to bring me new insights is psychologist Orion Taraban. Even after a couple of listens, about my only hedges are the differences in social contexts between Japan and the U.S. I have not yet read his book, but here are Soft White Underbelly's interviews with him.
Part 1 ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgR01vEOdwU
Part 2 ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXoEW-TYHrY&t=1256s
And I still have a thread with you and Guy to follow up on ... some questions regarding correlations between sociopathy and trauma.
Catcha later!
Very agreeable rant. I didn't know "she-bang" was hyphenated!!
Another great post, thanks for writing this. (I haven't watched the video.)
My experience in the last dozen years has given me a slightly different view of your statement that "Taking care of places is where masculinity comes into its own. Men like to build, to make things, to tinker with a machine until it works." I certainly did a lot of that in my two marriages, but in my second marriage we both did a lot of the building. We built a house together, doing most of the work ourselves (with the exception of the foundation). My ex-wife was, in fact, more of a brute than I was, doing more of the heavy lifting and physical labor. She did nearly all of the roofing, flooring, and interior sheathing, and the kitchen construction later. I was more the brains of the team, reading and understanding the instructions, cutting all of the wood, figuring out how to do the plumbing and electrical, designing the interior walls, etc.
I've also known a woman who could do things like rebuild car engines, and a man who stayed at home with the kids while his wife worked as computer programmer.
I guess what I'm saying is that it's possible for men and women to break out of their stereotypes in real ways.
About 20 years ago I had directed a play by German playwright Frank Wedekind who is known for prodding stilted German society into talking frankly about sex. His version of the femme fatale is one who climbs the class ladder, leaving dead bodies in her wake, figuratively and literally, but in the end she gets her wish - to fall prey to one who is a better hunter than she is.
I don’t know if women follow social norms because they have to or because they want to. When I ask myself that question and I’m being honest, I wish I had met someone who was a provider and a protector but because I didn’t, I became one myself. I’ve enjoyed the role because I’ve played it well and it’s easy to enjoy that which you’re good at.
Masculinity and femininity both hold magic. They’re both sacred. I appreciate you looking at the subject. Even if it’s fraught with unsavoury opinions.
Thank you for this and all your brilliant work. I’m deep into your impressive and important book and highly recommend. Decoy 9/11 beat me to the ‘punch’ here (sorry so male) and articulated much better than I could have.
It’s clear if you’re alert that the “battle of the sexes” is part of Power’s divide and conquer rule. When I used to read the New York Times, I really wanted to track all the articles that were being written telling women how society, or the patriarchy or something is screwing them over.
"zinnia’s partial explanation of zoomer girl derangement does a sensitive job of detailing the ways in which girls deal with their innate desire for the male gaze: commodify it, resist it through anorexia or transgenderism, or embrace it to fall in love and become a mother. Nowhere is there a breath of criticism of men. Is this also what men want?"
It was not the purview of her article to comment about men and their disfunction, it was about giving voice to what young women are going through, in this society that has become pathologically confused about sex. I thought it a very thoughtful and beautiful article, and I encouraged her to write more and expand on the topic.
"Use that pretty little head, zinnia, to change the fucking system. Or the system and men like John Carter will find the cheapest way of fucking you."
This I thought was demanding more of her than what any man might expect. Does Zinnia not capitalize her anon, or is that you condescending? Real men have skills, and criticize ideas, not taking cheap shots at people. It was John who originally cross-posted her article, not you.
I don't know if tonic masculinity really describes what John is up to, but I am going to challenge you to talk less about how certain men are not living up to your idea of tonic masculinity and start describing what you think tonic femininity might be like.
No cliff-hanger here like a highway 1 in Big Sur except for the fact that this could be a good reading while waiting. I have no time or desire to go deeper into the subject matter like Russain dolls deployment of who said what and when. We may have too much leisure time that we use at not solving anything. It is unreal that it will go on forever.