150 Comments

I think it’s quite likely that certain men have a very two dimensional understanding of women. I know the same could be said the other way around. But even the most in-depth observations that I’ve heard men have of women, I know they’re not quite there, that they don’t quite get it. But that’s really just fine, dudes. Let women be a bit mysterious, damn. Let us commune with the moon and we’ll get right back to ya.

You’ve got a nice set of brass ovaries, wading into all that. I almost wrote “big balls” but then also realised that balls are quite sensitive and you could flick them to send them off crying in pain. A uterus, on the other hand, well, it takes a bit of a pounding and it gives birth and all that, and is still a nice, warm, cozy thing. I can’t believe I’m writing all this on a public forum. See what you bring out of people, Tereza? 😅

Expand full comment

Just before you wrote “I have no idea what egalitarian ratchet effect, Whig history and globohomo mean” I was thinking to myself “I have no idea what egalitarian ratchet effect, Whig history and globohomo mean”.

Expand full comment
Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Great video! It’s baffling to me how women get the blame for men’s shortcomings. Men are being neutered by much more than just some feminist ideology (I’d day Hollywood, pharma, the food supply all play a big part).

Relationships have always been messy. We have no way of telling whether they were better in the past when women were more subservient. Perhaps the relationships were more unhappy but divorce/freedom from bondage was not an option.

I have been hard on myself lately because I’ve allowed myself to feel that being single is my fault due to my “toxic femininity”. Your video today talked me off a ledge. I should be proud that I had the courage to leave the abusive relationships. I don’t think it would have helped anyone if I had rolled over and pretended that I actually like being beaten.

Expand full comment

Decoy is an idiot. Our so-called culture, twisted and distorted as it is - creates idiocy. I don't have the patience you have, to engage on all this.

We've all been born into a traumatizing and divisive slave-system where distrust and systemic hatred of the opposite sex was part of the terrain.

It's not natural. It's been manufactured - like pretty much everything else. What hope do we have but to deepen into who we really are as human beings, beings of love?

A massive reorientation and realignment that includes a simple 'No' to the agenda behind this current iteration of the world, on its way out.

Best.

Expand full comment
Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

To reiterate what I put in my last post, there is a 3 factor balance for healthy relationships according to Dr Paul Brenner, author of Buddha in the Waiting Room.

This is not found in the book, but Dr Brenner used to do "Men's group discussions on Relationships." My father attended several of them; he relayed the following concept:

Man seeks to find Joy; in a Woman he finds Wonder

Man seeks to find Support; in a Woman he finds Nurture

Man seeks to find Commitment; in a Woman he finds Loyalty,

***Intimacy comes from all three.

Woman seeks to find Commitment; in a Man she finds Security

Woman seeks to find Nurture; in a Man she finds Family

Woman seeks to find Joy; In a Man she finds Commitment

I am not sure if I have it completely correct, I searched everywhere for the Dr Brenner Relationship Triangle but can't seem to find it.

Expand full comment
Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

It amuses me that people make the general assumption that women were historically the subservient ones in relationships/marriages. Not in my family. Both my grandmothers ruled the roost and one of them never did a day of paid work in her life either (she also had a boyfriend in London at one point). My mother pretty well did everything she wanted to do whether my dad liked it or not. My great aunt lived with my grandmother because she simply didn't want to stay with her husband. I have no examples of subservient women in my life. Even my Mother in Law is a force to be reckoned with. It's her way or the highway.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Expand full comment
Apr 7·edited Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

What you said here is so fitting Tereza, there's not much for me to add. Relationships between Masculine and Feminine forces are a beautiful balance.

At the core of healthy relationships that are romantic there is friendship, at the core of friendship there is availability and acceptance without expectations.

There was an author on relationships; Dr. Paul Brenner who used to have discussions on the "balanced male" interaction with their female partner. He used a triangular diagram that illustrated how there are three primary "character aspects" to the both sexes that naturally compliment each other.

When it comes to sex, it should not be the primary focus of the experience; it is something that is shared, not expected.

Expand full comment
Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Wow, Tereza, you are on fire, and I love it! Well done, and thank you, and whew!

I feel honored to be included in the quotes, and that you shared the link from Xi about Womb Wealth. I want to rewatch that video now.

I was such an angry feminist in my 20s, and have gotten away from it as I've aged, and as I've come more into my own agency in my life in the last few years, in my late 40s. But wow, your case is compelling that we need to build the world from a centered, grounded, loving, balanced place.

You say we need to do it for our daughters....and may I throw in our sons as well? My son is big hearted and compassionate and sensitive - and competitive and loves business and money already as an 8 year old. He fascinates me. And I want him to grow into his healthiest possible person, unsquashed and untainted by these distortions.

Those men in your article - Decoy 9/11! Taraban! YIKES!!!! How do these men survive with such attitudes? Do some women find this attractive? I like to think of it as the world's healing pains - as we are hopefully moving towards more health, the sickness has to come to the surface, so it can be healed. May these men find healing, because certainly, it cannot be pleasant to have such vitriol and hatred inside them.

Blessings to you and your courage!

Expand full comment
Apr 7·edited Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Hi Tereza!

Thanks for the high praise ... and humbled at the better analysis of Taraban than I first guesstimated. I now fully agree with your assessment of the moral decadence of his purely transactional description of male-female relationships. And I can't recall anything he said that I've always tried to circle in on ... positive, transformative relationships. That being said, his machiavellian descriptions do appear to be the default "is" (rather than the "should") for far too many here in the Far East as well as the West. Can see his approach as a sure fire recipe for eventual tragic consequences.

Still trying to transcend my own Anna Karenina Principle / unique tragedy (the deep dive into my life under comments to your last post took the wind out of me), some interesting and therapeutic news ... copy-pasted from a message I had sent to a buddy earlier this morning Japan time:

"Just yesterday, I was at a local community center where I teach a fairly advanced English student listening skills which challenge even myself. But afterwards, I sat in on a meeting led by a charming Japanese lady who is an experienced psychiatric counselor. Although she also has a job in that field, she spends a lot of volunteer time going to local community centers or coffee shops, creating opportunities to help mothers who have kids with emotional / mental disabilities or disorders ... and provides them access to specialists and resources beyond her capabilities.

We had a fascinating discussion ranging from the moral limits of exceeding Dunbar's number (and why I can't trust any institution now), empathy as the ground for human morality (maybe synonymous), and the salience of dark-tetrad / Cluster B personality types on building and gaming institutions — only so they can use those human resources as disposable cattle ...

I asked her if she would be interested in an interview about her work, her values, and some of the same things we talked about ... and she enthusiastically agreed. So if things go as planned, I will start a new series (maybe a new substack under a different pseudonym) of interviewing positive movers and shakers at the community level here in Japan, embedding the recorded interview in the substack, and then have another embedded audio of a translation of the interview."

It is going to take a while for me to even follow up comments to your last post, much less links to this one. You have a head is powered by a fuel injected, turbo-charged engine. I'm still pedaling as fast as I can. 😅

Cheers Tereza

p.s Soft White Underbelly has some other interviews well worth watching, but as we both know, life is short and time, an important currency. That link to the short video of Michelle "Mike" Ng's "Farewell Funeral" was a haunting reminder of impending mortality.

Expand full comment

wow! this had me wondering if decoy had pulled an april fool's day post. it was so incredibly over-the-top that i frequently thought he was lampooning the situation. i even laughed at how outrageous and possible even inhuman was the sentiment expressed in your citation. by your comment and the seriousness of the tone, i have inferred that you have taken it seriously. i wasn't interested in reading his full post. and i didn't watch the other guy, taraban, after listening to your overview and reading steve's comment. what i read between the lines of both your comments reminded me of some bizarre incel initiated pseudo-masculine psychology i read a few years ago that was a poorly constructed mask of true victim-language twisted to rationalise victimising another as a 'good' way to get (check) mated. hmmmm.

doesn't anybody read, anymore? i think that one of the most interesting and still valuable looks at the male-female relationship dynamic is Jung's essay 'Marriage as a Psychological Relationship.' (full audio here: https://youtu.be/tNjIwOgLXGs) and, omg! it respects both sexes, doesn't need to pretend they are the same, and suggests that ultimately a goal of a relationship is to move towards individuation for both people which is a difficult and troublesome path that requires negotiating shadow projections and withdrawals, the difficulty of psychological typology in language and understanding, and that there is a difference in how men and women interact with the world, themselves and each other. wow! radical stuff. another interesting book is 'anima and animus' by emma jung and marie-louise von franz: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/75547.Animus_and_Anima

and here is a video talking about those concepts: "Anima and Animus - Eternal Partners from the Unconscious". https://youtu.be/IW4GzhdVr-w

p.s.:, tereza. my next post, still in process, has gone deep into the problem of 'reason' and 'superstition'. (hmmm. a form of anima and animus projection? lol! hadn't thought about that until now. i'll think some more.) this deep dive was initiated by your comment on my last essay and so you play a significant role in my look at those ideas as, in a significant way, being equivalent distractions to understanding as the word 'woke'. this has become a pretty deep shadow investigation within myself that has now gone on for 3 weeks, 2 weeks past my usual drop-dead date. (it is getting long! maybe i'll split it.) and i do talk a bit about your comment, just to let you know.

Expand full comment

HOE lee SHeety MANG!

That guy was RIDICLOUS Beyond all understanding. Hahaha.

HAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Wow.

YOU are an amazing and beautiful woman and I love watching you read with such poise. You are truly hilarious.

"such women"

"nasty old hags"

"bitter sexless old hags" Where are the "wise elder women"

How would he even recognize one?

Poor Impotent Fool. (that's PIF)

"Old bitter divorcees" ruin everyone else's relationships.

Way to own your crap, crazy dude.

I am sorry he feels so threatened by divorced women.

What a sad sack.

This guy is very concerned about what an "old washed up hag" is going to do

to his sex life or some other man's sex life.

Sounds like a good understanding of failure from a firsthand perspective.

AH! The bourbon with bitters!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Oh, you coined tonic masculinity? I like that one.

When I heard it I thought, "oh, that's perfect."

I didn't realize you coined it.

Did you get that creative idea energy from the lifeblood you slurped from some nearby, unsuspecting young man?

HO PRACTICE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hyper Sexual Tribal Shit!

HAAAAAAAAAAAha

"He admonishes men that their wives should be virgins yet also winks that 30+ women are horndogs, totally DtF. "

Oh man , you are so cute and wonderful. You had me laughing my rear end off through this whole thing.

I look up to you if I ever have to deal with a weirdo. HAhaha. Wow. You are an inspiration.

I am not divorced, but I am 50, so I am going to get out there and destroy some relationships. I mean, why not? There are so many already teetering on the edge.

May as well give them that extra push and then steal their energy and transform it into something useful.

Ah, alchemy.

Tralalalala......

Expand full comment
Apr 7·edited Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Build Back Bitters! I needed a tonic such as this ✨🙏🏾💕

Expand full comment
Apr 10Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Sorry for the late musical donation...life happened for a few days back yonder. They're only together for the rare special occasion these days, but this was my 2nd fave Austin band while they were an ongoing enterprise. (1st Fave Austin band is whoever's onstage with the lead guitarist here, who was John Mayall's lead guitarist before health forced him into retirement.) So, without any further ado... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qq9-sax6qlU

Expand full comment

I was recently listening to a discussion and reading by Ba'al Busters of the Oera Linda book (might first deep dive). It talks about the high social status of women as leaders and wise counsellors in ancient Germanic [pagan] societies.

• Oera Linda Book Ep. II: Nobleman and the Sorcerer - Ba'al Busters

The reading starts at 1:59:35

https://rumble.com/v4mjxrb-oera-linda-book-ep.-ii-nobleman-and-the-sorcerer.html

PDF:

https://frya.angelfire.com/Oera_Linda_Book.pdf

There is a strong emphasis on the exalted position of the [folk]mother and of the maidens

see 2:30:00 – the laws established for the government of the citadels, starting with

1. Whenever a citadel is built, the lamp belonging to it must be lighted at the original lamp in Texland, and that con only be done by the mother.

-----

I just now came across this essay by Aidan MacMillan who is a remarkable writer with a clearly deep level of scholarship on the topic of his own ancestry. He writes some amazing book reviews

• Berserkers and Folkmothers - in-depth look at pagan practices - AIDAN MACMILLAN

https://aidanmacmillan.substack.com/p/berserkers-and-folkmothers

Aidan writes:

“The Oera Linda Book speaks of a society wherein virgin women were given high social status based on their ability to remain calm while directing certain elements of society towards harmony with nature. They memorized the laws and the lore of the tribe so that future generations would have good teachers; they assisted Kings and Captains during wartime (as mentioned by Tacitus); they were spiritual leaders who embodied the best of what women could offer; they were magical sorceresses and stewards of living goddesses; they were virginity and motherhood wrapped into one indivisible whole.

[…]

Women have a powerful place in human society, and their highest form is similar to that of a King, who is like a father. Indeed, their highest form is that of a Queen, who is like a mother. Just as men can achieve royalty and nobility of spirit, so too can women.

[…]

Let us bring back the balance and harmony of the proto-Indo-Europeans, the first Aryans, and let us teach our young men the frenzy of women, and let us teach our young women the stoic nature of men.”

Expand full comment
Apr 7Liked by Tereza Coraggio

Not touching this one. 🥰

Expand full comment

Wow. Seriously. Wow.

Expand full comment