White Sky Blues

the world is ending and it's never getting better

Are you feeling like the world is ending and things are never getting better? Me too. And a big part of that is the sky—the oppressive, blinding, claustrophobic, geoengineered lid on the dome of the world. In this video, I talk about the emotional impact of living under-river, atmospheric river that is, and becoming pale frogs.

This is better watched than read but I refer to some of the things adding to my sense of living in shades of gray. One is the research I’ve been doing on a particularly dark topic for my next episode, during which I spent three days not leaving the house, feeling like I was wading through a cesspool, trying not to drown. To give you an idea, here’s the start to my episode:

First things first. The phrase pedophilia is a contradiction in terms. No one who loves children would rape them. We talk about Francophiles who love all things French or bibliophiles who love books. The term pedophile softens and normalizes an act of torture and violence, the willful infliction of trauma and the sadistic use of power. It is accompanied with threats and shaming in order to keep it secret. It damages the victim and the relationships with everyone they trust, who failed to protect them. Call it what it is—pedo-sadism.

At a completely different level, I talk about things that keep going wrong for my daughters, some big but mostly small. Like a run of bad luck that should be over, it seems, and then something else happens. For my middle daughter, this involved someone stealing her purse, phone, credit cards and then running scams using access to her iCloud. She listed a half-dozen other flukes of twisted fate and ended with “The world is ending and things are never getting better,” which made us both laugh.

But then Ope, a reader from Nigeria who writes Khakis & Leather, posted Escaping from Scams: Nigeria to China. It’s a fascinating post including a first-hand account into the well-organized international business of scamming, and ends with:

Our meme world is one of scams/frauds/corruption/graft/lies/manipulation/trickery and conspiracies, but I remain tonic to this.

The tonic shout-out is because Ope found my Substack through the Tonic Masculinity series. I hope he gives a Nigerian perspective on what that is!

Escaping from Scams: Nigeria to China

Two of the references from the video: Matt Taibbi and Walter Kirn on the DIAA app for ‘soon to be de-occupied Ukraine’ that allows you to apply for a mortgage and denounce your neighbor at the same time:

Episode 40: "America This Week," with Matt Taibbi and Walter Kirn

and Glenn Greenwald’s beautiful post on Grief, which begins:

The pain, sadness, and torment of grief deepens as you move further away from the moment of the death of a loved one. It keeps getting worse – harder not easier – with each passing day and each passing week. I know that it will begin to get better or at least more manageable at some point, but that can and will happen only once the reality is internalized, a prerequisite for healing and recovery. But the internalization that someone is really dead - that there's absolutely nothing you can do to reverse that - requires ample time given its enormity. Three weeks is nowhere near sufficient.

to which I responded:

@ggreenwald I don't know why I didn't already know but got a sinking feeling when I started reading. Still thought just maybe this was some past history you were referring too, in a way that seemed all too raw. And then got to the casual, past tense reference and started sobbing. I was so hoping this wasn't true, for you, for the kids, for Brazil, for the world. You're facing David's death, Glenn, with the same honesty that you face everything. And I agree, whatever you can do to make your life easier right now is the right thing to do. Have no demands on yourself, no goals, no to-do lists. Caring for yourself and your children is your only priority.
My daughter, whose house I'm in at the moment, is a bereavement counselor and I'll forward your note to her. I know it will speak to many. You raise a point I haven't heard before, but that rings true. After the shock wears off, it gets harder. My daughter often uses the analogy of grief as waves that come less frequently over time but knock you off your feet and drag you down all the same. I wish you a peaceful heart, even while drowning. The enormity of your love for David is such an act of courage.

Without giving away the ending, which I promise is more uplifting, I talk about my Course reading that “Salvation of the world depends on me,” and how the world is in good hands because you, my friend, are dependable and competent, keeping your sanity and sense of humor through the greatest psyop in the history of the world.

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For another video with a similar message: Are You Ready Yet to Save the World?

Looks at undoing empire-thinking as a spiritual practice. ACIM says that God only ever asks one question, "Are you ready yet to help me save the world?" I look at why our answer is "not yet" because of our attachment to our own superiority. Our message to one another should be "You are magnificent" and "Here's why I think you're mistaken," using facts, logic and consistency. I connect the comments of three magnificent viewers and convey the views of four magnificent writers on Ukraine--Glenn Greenwald, Matt Taibbi, Caitlin Johnstone and Andrew Bacevich. I end with hearing from the horse's mouth.

and here is Meaning Is All There Is:

A viewer warned his loved ones that he was putting my 'crazy' in his echo chamber. To live up to the warning, I bring on the crazy by talking about ultimate reality with Sufi sayings, Jewish legends, free-will astrologer Rob Brezsny and Terence McKenna. I tell the story of a mole turned hawk, and Russell Brand kissing Yuval Noah Harari's forehead. I cite Kurt Vonnegut's 'karass' in the disorganized religion of Bokonon and quote Caitlin Johnstone on being ineffable. I end with a simpler explanation of Charles Eisenstein's Parallel Timelines and my craziest theory to date, involving the word 'tantric'.